Left Behind
by 99lighters
Summary: It's hard to be a friend when Rogue wants so much more and the time is never right it seems...


Well I can't stand to look at you now  
This revelation's out of my hands  
Still I can't bear the thought of you now  
This complication's leaving me scared

In ten years, she hadn't been without him – well, unless you counted the endless times he had up and left for months on end with not so much as a good bye or a phone call to let her know he was all right. Those were times she understood and held no grudge over – until now...now Marie felt more alone than she ever had before, and she could only imagine how the woman sitting in front of her must feel.

Ten long years, since she was just a teenager, she had clung to Logan as some sort of lifeline – and fooled herself into believing he was first a father figure and then more of a friend and finally she had accepted the term "best friend" as a label for their relationship. He had been there for her though so much, and what he missed while he was out on the road he made up for. She thought she knew everything there was to know about him, and he her – that there were no secrets in their relationship – except the one thing she had never shared with him. Yes, at the age of 26 she, Marie, had a school girl style crush on the big bad Wolverine. But until she found a way to control her powers, well, she wasn't about to share that information with him. What was the use of admitting it to him if they couldn't have each other anyways? It would have only been a tease to him AND her...

But now, this latest revelation was one Marie found she couldn't get past. She hated him for it and hated her other so called best friend even more when the big news hit...Jubilee knew after all how Rogue felt about Logan, but apparently, that hadn't stopped her one bit from moving in on him. She tried to control herself, but it was hard. She knew Jubes needed her right now, but Rogue was having a hard time pushing past her own emotions to provide the support her best friend so clearly needed at the moment.

"You are WHAT?" Marie screamed at Jubilee, not meaning to be quite as loud and severe as she had just been. Jubilee herself was the one who should probably be in hysterics, but she just sat there almost blankly trying to break the news to her long time closest friend.

"I'm pregnant, and I would like for you to be a tad quieter about it...so far only Jean, Hank and the professor know. I would LIKE to try to keep it that way please Chica?" the young Asian girl pleaded through teary eyes as she shut the door to her room again after checking the hallway to be sure no one had been there to hear. "I told you – the 'baby daddy' doesn't even know yet. PLEASE don't tell anyone else, please don't let him find out through mansion gossip..." the look in her eyes said that there was a lot more to this than Marie was ready for while the tone in her voice said she was getting close to loosing it herself now.

"Well, seeing as how you never even clued me in to the fact you were seeing anyone sugar, how 'bout you tell me who the mysterious 'baby daddy' is?" Rogue tried to lighten it up a bit, tossing back the 'baby daddy' thing like it was an episode of Maury they were only watching to laugh at.

At that, Jubilee did bust into full fledged tears. "I CAN'T!" Through the sobs, Marie moved in closer to hug her best friend, and searched mentally for a moment to find a polite way to ask WHO the father was without offending her or making Jubilee hurt inside any more than she already was.

"Oh sugar, you know you can tell me anything. Really," Marie said as she wiped the tears from Jubilee's face with her gloved hand. "Really sugar, I honestly promise not to judge you right now. However, later, if I catch you eating pickles and ice cream I WILL make fun of you then," she joked and was thankful to see a smile slowly creeping onto Jubilee's face. "Now, whatever else you have to get off your chest, throw it at me and let's see if your best friend can't ease the pain a little and share the burden." Marie was relieved to see Jubilee breathing calmly again and not as worked up as she was just a minute ago.

"You think I don't know who it is? Or you just working that southern charm to find out?" She teased back, unable to stop herself from being a smart ass, even now.

"What charm? And I know you at least have half a clue – you aren't a total slut Jubes, and I know that. But why doesn't he know yet? Shouldn't the father to be also be the first one to know?"

"Because Rogue," Jubilee paused to take a long, deep breath and steady herself for her friends reaction. She knew Rogue would be fast to catch on once she let the next words slip from her mouth. "Because, he isn't here right now and I don't know when he will be back again."

With those words, Marie's world came crashing down on her. She thought she knew her best friends, thought they knew her. HOW could this be? The ONLY one not here right now was Logan, the ONLY one who never had an ETA on arrival was Logan, and the ONLY one Marie had ever wanted to be with was Logan and Jubilee knew that! Sure, Marie had never voiced that to Logan – she had been waiting for the magic key to unlocking her mutation, to be able to control her powers, before she admitted to him what she felt for him. But Jubilee KNEW how Marie felt! What kind of best friend poaches like that? What kind of best friend leaves these kinds of details out in those long late night talks over ice cream? How did Marie miss this? How did she have NO clue and how long had this little fling been going on between her two so called best friends right under her nose?

Marie choked back her own tears at that point, and with true southern charm and poise she voiced the question she already knew the answer too...and didn't really want to hear, "It's Logan's?"

"Yes," was all Jubilee could squeeze out before another round of hysterical sobbing hit her. She KNEW the news would crush Rogue, but it was an accident in so many ways! Jubilee hadn't meant to fall in love with him, she CERTAINLY had NOT meant to get pregnant, and she wasn't even sure if he cared enough about her in return to stick around once he heard the news or just run forever and never return. She needed her best friend right now – and she had hurt her so much in revealing the news that she was scared. "Please," Jubilee sobbed through ragged breaths, "Please don't be mad at me. Not too much, I need you Chica. You're the only best friend I have. Please don't hate me. I didn't mean to fall for him and I know you must hate me right now. But please don't leave me alone to deal with this. You're like family to me." Jubilee knew it must be breaking Rogue's heart as much as it was hers at the moment – she hated seeing that flash of pain her friend's eyes as the realization that it was Logan's baby had dawned on her, but she added so quietly Rogue could barely hear it, "I'm keeping the baby Rogue, no matter what Logan feels about it, he doesn't have to be part of anything, but I am keeping it. If he gets mad about, or hates me, leaves me forever, I'm gonna need you Chica to be there for me, for us," she rubbed her still flat belly to emphasize who 'us' was.

Marie took another steadying breath, and did the best she could do at that moment, once again blinking back tears. She smiled her brightest smile, and lied, thankful Jubilee didn't have the super senses to smell that lie. "Well then we should be happy about this not crying. Now, when's the little Wolvester coming? We're gonna have a lot to do to get ready for the baby."

Stay when you think you want me  
Pray when you need advice

Logan showed up again at the mansion just like he always did – months later and in the middle of the night as usual, creeping in as though he'd just been out for a few hours longer than he had promised and not the long weeks it had actually been. He had left after a brief fling of sorts with Jubilee that left him more confused and feeling a bit ashamed to boot. They had kept it entirely secret from Marie and the rest of the mansion's residents as well, and he wasn't sure if Jubilee would be happy to see him again or pissed he had been gone so long with no communication.

Marie understood, she always had – hell, the kid had him in her head literally – she knew he needed his space and time to roam and let the animal out on his terms instead of keeping it cooped up until it burst forth and took over. But Jubilee, well, he wasn't sure how much she really knew about him and how his mind worked, how much she understood, and where 'they' stood since their...well...fling was the most polite way he could think of it, but 'fuck-fest' was more like it. That brought him to his feelings of shame again...it was the most messed up little triangle since he had first come to the mansion and spent those first months sniffing after Jean like she was a bitch in heat while Scooter watched and Jean led him on. He hoped Marie would just be okay with it, and maybe if he was lucky Jubilee would take him back. He'd stay longer this time, he had sworn to himself he would try at least. Maybe that would make both young women happy with him and each other. Maybe it would make up for what he had done.

He had slept with the best friend of his best friend – God it sounded worse when he thought it through for what it was! The worst part was he knew deep down that it was wrong, that he shouldn't have done it. Which was why he had been gone 6 months instead of just a few weeks, well, that and he had been on a roll in the cage bringing home more than he had made in a long time, he smiled as that thought rolled through his cloudy mind. Shaking his head to go back to what he had been thinking about, he remembered what had him so tense and on the run.

After a month of sneaking around, and nearly getting caught by Marie at least three times, Logan couldn't stomach it anymore and he had to leave. It didn't feel right hiding what he had going on with Jubilee, and it was even worse that they had kept it from Marie. For the first time he could remember, he had honestly been in love with two women, and while it would have been any other man's dream to try to make that work to his advantage, it ate at Logan's sense of honor. He loved Marie for who she was, for being there for him no matter what, and though it wasn't a fatherly love, it was clear to him she had no intentions of acting on it as any more than that. He had come to love Jubilee for the bright sparky vibrant thing she was – she had driven him nuts at first with her loud music, loud clothes and loud mouth as a teenager. But when she came to him that first night, seeking him out for comfort when the shit finally hit the fan with that sleazy boy from town she had been seeing...well...he saw her as something and someone else then.

Logan saw a vibrant young woman in Jubilee, one who he had mentored as a child through training , teenaged dramas, and a host of the wrong men. Then, as she got older, through break ups with more of the wrong men, missions gone wrong, all of the super hero mess that came with being and x-man, and he wanted more for her than the jerks she always found herself with. Those "wrong guy for you darlin'" nights where he really meant that she seemed to pick trash over substance, but she interpreted it to mean she'd find another 'fish in the sea' – the sea of sleaze she seemed to be drawn to. How he hated watching her sabotage herself with the creeps she hooked up! He had enough that last time though.

He knew deep down she was no replacement for Marie, but since Marie had made it clear so many times over and over that due to her skin things would never be any different than "friends" he hoped she would at least be able to be happy for him and Jubilee...well...IF Jubilee would have him after being gone so long...No, Jubilee was not a replacement at all, but he was tired of watching her date scum, and had pulled her to him that first night, hoping he could save at least one of his girls any more heartache.

Sure, Marie had never admitted to having any feelings for him, but he could still smell the arousal and attraction rolling off of her in waves at times. He had asked her once why after the whole 'Bobby debacle' why she hadn't taken up any of the other men's offers and acted on their advances – there were plenty of men in the mansion that wanted her – heck, half the guys she walked past on the street were drooling for a chance to get her number. That was just one more unpleasant thing Logan could "sense" when he least wanted to – from the horny teenagers to the dirty old man in front of the liquor store – almost every man she meandered past smelled of lust and wanting for his Marie. She had told him then in no uncertain terms that "her skin would always be an issue. She had learned with Bobby and she had learned the hard way to boot when she caught him cheating with Kitty. It was better NOT to get her hopes up than it was to have her heart broken. She knew, she said to him, that every guy she dated would eventually realize this as well. They would come to realize that she was 'poison' as she called her skin, and that half a relationship was only a friendship, not a love affair. They would all leave, like Bobby did. Some would have the guts to say so, to tell her why, and others would resort to cheating, hoping to get caught so they could just be let of the hook without the pain of honesty about her skin being an issue. She was better off just having friends, and with him and Jubes she didn't need much else in the friend department, after all what was a lover, if not a friend first and then something physical second right? So since she lacked the chance to get physical without killing anyone, she would stick with the friendships, thank you." She told Logan all of this through mournful eyes the one time he dared ask her about it. He understood, in a way, but he knew through his enhanced senses the inability to act on them did NOT mean she lacked the same urges others had.

He guessed she would be fine with it, she had after all given him that lecture years ago, and she had never seemed to expect him to refrain from his sex-life simply because she didn't have one of her own. Still...Logan couldn't help but feel a sense of shame at making her best friend his best girl, to speak politely, and to top it off something ominous kept attempting to go creeping up his spine as he walked up the back steps into the kitchen...

"I guess I should call next time, at least then I would know things are okay here," he said out loud, but only for himself really, to shake off that feeling of doom that was still tingling in his spine. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts he didn't notice the figure at the island in the kitchen, when she chimed in...

"You should call sugar, at least then WE wouldn't have to worry about YOU so much." Rogue had been up with Jubilee again, who was having a rough time of it with this pregnancy. Alone, unwilling to tell anyone besides Rogue, Jean, Hank and the professor who the father was, well...Jubilee had become the talk of the mansion. People were, in general, nice to her face. But they still whispered behind her ever growing belly as she would walk away. She knew it, and the stress of that, plus not being as accustomed to missing Logan as Marie already was and just plain being pregnant were wearing thin on Jubilee. The constant vomiting, which Hank SWORE would go away and still hadn't, the constant tears, and worry, she wasn't doing well.

Marie was glad to see Logan was back – hopefully he would be able to provide some calm to Jubilee and comfort, and Marie PRAYED he wouldn't run when he did find out. She also prayed he wouldn't have an outburst in front of Jubilee – he wasn't known for his calm reactions to bad news. If only Logan would man up this time, stay put at least long enough for Jubes to have that baby, and then maybe Marie could catch a break of her own and travel for a while, pull a Logan and be gone so she didn't have to watch the happy lovebirds and their new family, one she would never have...Marie NEEDED Logan to man up and take over all of the things she had been doing for Jubilee so she could run for a while. To be honest with herself, the jealousy at what Jubilee had – a family, no matter how dysfunctional and Logan on top of it! - well, it had been eating at Marie more and more each passing day.

The urge to pull a Logan and take off at times had always been strong, having him in her head did that to her. But now, she just couldn't bear it anymore than Jubes could but for different reasons. It wasn't that Marie missed Logan, she did, but Jubilee ached for his presence, to have him back, to share her news, to be happy with her and to complete their family. Marie missed him because if he returned she could jet outta there and not feel guilty – Jubilee would be alone if Marie left and Logan wasn't home. Once he returned, the problem of leaving Jubes alone would be solved. Marie should have been happy for her friend, 'new babies were always a reason to rejoice' Hank would remind them, sounding like a southern Baptist about to go preachy on them...but instead she was jealous, angry and hurt. With him back it was finally her turn to unleash her inner feral and take off, and she was just praying he would man up and let her do that.

"Jesus Rogue!" Logan nearly jumped out of his adamantium laced skeleton at the sound of her voice behind him.

Before he could say anything else, Marie stood up to leave and said the only thing she could without giving away her true feelings as well as her friend's situation just a few floors above them – Logan would know soon enough. "Logan, I know you aren't the praying kind...but I hope you learn how to pray and start seeking advice from a higher power. You're gonna need it..." as she turned to walk out, he grabbed her gloved wrist and stopped her escape.

Logan could smell tears and he knew something was wrong, but why now was the kid not just telling him. She had never been one to talk in secrets and code before. What was that remark about praying about? "Marie, what's wrong? What's happened while I was gone? And why do I need a higher power when I have always just gone to you?"

"Logan," Marie was trying to voice what she could, without letting Jubilee's 'condition' slip, "You always said you stayed as long as you could because of me, before the Wolverine took over and you needed to run. Don't stay because you think you want me around, stay because it's right". The problem was Marie was used to being honest with Logan, and right now she couldn't be...she really couldn't ever be honest at this point if she wanted both of her friends to be happy...

"What are you talking about Marie? What's wrong?" Logan was starting to really worry now, the kid never talked in riddles before.

"Just, please, Logan..." The tears finally won, and wrenching her hand out from his Marie ran as fast as she could for her room. She'd been fighting these tears back for months since Jubilee had revealed her pregnancy, and it was time for a good cry. She couldn't fake happy anymore, it hurt to bad, it was her turn to let her emotions take control of her for a while. Marie knew Logan would find Jubes next, and she had meant what she said in the kitchen. She prayed he would start going to someone else for advice – because she couldn't handle it anymore.

Hey keep your sickness off me trying to get through

The good cry never came that night, it was postponed again and her emotions were shoved back down into the darkest part of her soul. When would Marie ever get a break? On the way back to her suite, Marie heard the choking cough of Jubilee dry heaving again as she passed her room. Being an honorable southerner, even knowing Logan could be by at any minute, she still couldn't leave Jubes like that just yet – alone, sick – she knocked softly and entered Jubilee's room without waiting for an answer.

"Hey sugar, you feeling okay?"

"Course I am Chica, it's always great to watch your anti-nausea medicine reappear. Do you think maybe I made Hank mad and he slipped me reappearing pills instead of stuff to stop this puking?" Jubilee laughed weakly at her own poor joke – she knew Rogue was just as tired as she was. Rogue had been there for every miserable minute of this pregnancy, and neither of them had gotten much rest recently. The constant need to vomit, the inability to keep anything down, the trips to the med labs and hours spent on IV fluids and nutrition...Rogue had been there for it all.

"No, sugar," Marie said as she wiped Jubilee's head with a cool towel, always kept handy these days, and smoothed the hair out of her face. "I think you may be feeling better sooner than you think." Marie smiled her best smile, "And puking on someone else for a change."

"What's that mean Chica? You heading out on a mission?" Who else would she puke on if Rogue wasn't here? Half of the mansion's residents treated her like some poor, pathetic creature and the other half side stepped as she walked by as though 'pregnant' were a contagious disease. Not that she blamed the younger residents, but she had become their own personal poster child for condoms these days, as sick as she stayed...

"Nope – Wolverine's home." Rogue's comment pulled Jubilee from her random thoughts and then when she realized that Rogue was being serious – for the first time yet even as sick as she had been - Jubilee passed out. Marie panicked, not ready for that reaction and began calling for Hank and Jean or any help she could find and wouldn't you know who showed up...

Blame all your weakness on me  
Shame that I'm so contrite  
Hey keep your fingers off me, why can't I get through?

Logan had been on his way to his room when he heard Marie screaming for help – he headed towards her voice at a run and was shocked to find her with Jubilee's still form cradled in her arms.

"Logan, get Hank or Jean," Marie pulled it together once she saw someone else, even if it was him. Plus, she had to get him out of Jubilee's room before he got a good whiff and figured out what was going on. Even as angry and hurt as she was deep down, she didn't want him finding out like this.

"Marie, what's wrong with her?" Logan stepped closer to help, to carry Jubilee straight to the med-lab if need be.

"I don't know," Marie lied, knowing he would smell it on her but not caring, "Just get me one of the doctors NOW Logan!" She was tired of his hero act and her pent up anger was beginning to take over her outward sense of calm, replacing it fast – hell, she thought to herself, he'd been gone six months, if he had cared he would have called, Jubilee was NOT like her, not used to his absences.

"Fine, I'll be..." Logan was cut off as Jean pushed past him.

"Logan, nice to see you home. Rogue, would you mind helping me get her to her bed and Logan, go wait outside and shut the door." Jean took charge, already having a good read on all of the strong emotions flowing through Rogue at the moment, not even having to try to get a read at that. Jean could tell Logan's presence was making Rogue edgy, and that atmosphere was not a healthy one for Jubilee right now, even unconscious. Her tone said there would be no arguing, and Logan complied mostly out of confusion – he had never been barred from staying by the side of his girls before, why now?

Logan stepped out side, pacing and waiting, trying to figure out what exactly the scent was in there. It was familiar, but not one he could easily put a finger on...he smelled sickness first, the overwhelming scent of vomit and sweat. But that was the obvious here, clearly Jubilee was sick. He had smelled the lie on Marie when she told him she didn't know – of course she knew and was protecting her friend. He had been gone pretty long this time, so he while he was surprised at first at Marie's attitude towards him downstairs, it made sense now. If Jubilee had been sick, and he wasn't here, it had obviously fallen on Marie to care for her. So her anger was starting to fit a little...Then there was sadness, despair, Jean's scent, and one other he wasn't able to pin down...

Through the door he heard nothing, thinking to himself the good doctor must be using that mind talk again to avoid him. Why were they avoiding him? What weren't they telling him? What was wrong with Jubilee and did Marie have anything to do with it? Then, foot steps, and the door opened, revealing Marie.

"Logan, she'll be fine. You can go to bed or where ever you were headed. Jean's going to stay with her a while, so no need for either of us here." Marie started to head to her room and was stopped again by Logan – she knew she wasn't getting away so easily, but she had tried to scoot past him anyways. Sighing again in frustration, she turned to face him again. "What Logan? What else?"

"Marie, what's wrong with her? Tell me now or so help me I'll.."

"You'll what Wolverine? Do what? Barge in there? Go ahead! I need a freaking break and Jean has offered to stay with her for now – but if you insist on being the hero, if you think there is ANYTHING you can do, be my guest. Do whatever you please, it's how you operate isn't it? Doing as you please, when you please, and the rest of us be damned right?" Marie wrenched her arm free and started once again to walk away, but the weakness in his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Look, Marie, I'm worried about my girls. What' wrong? What has happened while I was gone? What aren't you telling me now?" Logan was worried and hurt – she'd never kept anything from him before and now she was clearly hiding something, or at last leaving out a lot of details.

Marie refused to let the pleading look in his eyes break her, she'd had enough of the poor me act from Jubilee recently, poor Logan was NOT working. "If you had ever really cared Logan, you would have asked sooner, been gone less, and called more often. At least to check on her. I'm fine Logan...but Jubes, well, she isn't like me, doesn't have you in her head, and she doesn't understand your absences like I do," the tears were ready to make another appearance, but Marie took a deep breath and once again managed to postpone that good cry she so needed. "She isn't accustomed to being used and then left for months on end with with nothing to hold onto – well, except a set of old dog tags." As she said the last part, she ripped his tags from her neck, and tossed them at his feet.

"Marie, I have NEVER used either of you," Logan said as he stepped in her way, ignoring the small bits of metal she had just thrown back at him and how that action made him feel. He was more angry now that she would accuse him of using either one of them, and less concerned about the stupid tags.

"Yes, you have. You used me to fill the void of needing a friend, and I used you back sugar, it's what everyone does at some point. Humans can't help it – they need other people in their life. But you haven't always been here when the shit hit the fan have you sugar? No...and Jubilee ain't used to that and I hope you weren't just using her as well. Please, move and let me go to bed. I've had a long day Logan." She side stepped again to make her escape, it was getting harder to hold back her tears.

"Marie, when did you become so...hardened? Why you are you acting like I've done something wrong to you?" Logan wasn't used to this behavior. The Marie he knew was always happy to see him, no matter how long he'd been gone or how suddenly he'd left. The Marie he knew always cared about everyone above herself and the woman before him was talking as though she half cared and half could care less. The Marie he knew before he left six months ago was not the cold woman standing in front of him now accusing him of using people. Something was wrong, and she wouldn't tell him what.

"About a month after you left sugar, things changed, and I'm glad you're back and I'll try to be happy for ya'll, but I need some time to myself now, so please, move, don't grab at me again, or I will use my skin and drop you and you can sleep it off right here for all I care" as calmly as she could, she gathered herself and headed to her room, once again praying and begging any higher power that would listen that he not follow her. Thankfully, she got her wish as Logan stood aside and she headed towards her door.

Closing her door as slowly and calmly as she could, she headed to the bathroom. She was willing to bet her was still standing there, dumb founded by her behavior. She hadn't meant to be so hateful; she just really was beyond faking it any longer for anyone else at this point. Once she was kneeling next to the tub, she allowed the tears to start to fall. Marie started the bath, undressed, and slid down into the water - finally able to have that cry she'd been waiting on all these months.

She cried for a love and family she'd never have, she cried because she still didn't know how Logan was going to react to Jubilee's news. At least he was here now and Marie was ready to run. She could feel the need and urge to move and be gone, away from the people that had hurt her itching down deep in her bones. She cried until she was finally out of tears and the water had gone cold not once, but twice after refilling the tub. Then she made up her mind to start packing, no matter what happened she would be ready to go in the morning. She wasn't giving him the chance to run first.

Even if Logan tried to bolt before she could, Marie wasn't giving him a choice. If she was gone first, he would be stuck. Logan's honor would not allow him to leave a friend in need. He had to stay for Jubilee if Marie left first – the Wolverine in her head told her so, that his sense of honor would win if his brains didn't. Marie haphazardly tossed her belongings into a duffel bag she had nearly forgotten about in the bottom of her closet, and then she went to sleep at peace with her decision to leave. She would wait until morning, and then be gone and they could work it out without her...she hoped...

Down the hall Logan had finally put a finger on that scent! Someone was pregnant – his guess would be Jean Grey and Scott had FINALLY figured out how the plumbing works for that. He laughed to himself, and made his way to his room. Now all he had to do was figure out what was wrong with his girls...but that would have to wait. No one was talking now, they were shutting him out so either it was very bad or still a fresh hurt. He would figure it out in the morning, it was probably just another break up with one more loser Jubilee had found along the way in his absence. Logan wasn't going to worry about it too much now. She hadn't been sent to the med lab, it couldn't be that bad. For now he needed to sleep after driving 3 days without stopping to be home...yeah...he'd figure it out later...

In Jubilee's room, the doctor laughed and smiled at her. "Don't worry," Jean said as she hugged Jubilee one last time preparing to leave, "He thinks it's ME not you. Your secret is safe and you can break the news to him tomorrow in person, but only when you've had some rest."

"Jean, what do you think he's going to say?"

"I have no idea, but you are going to be okay dear, it was just the shock of him being back tonight that caused you to faint I'd bet. It could have happened to any of us I suppose – remember the time he scared Kitty when they were both sneaking in? She passed out and phased through the balcony into the professors room?"

They both shared a laugh at that memory, "Yeah, I sure do doc."

"Well, Logan has that affect on people sometimes, especially the women around here it would seem – it's like seeing a ghost when he's been gone so long. I think this time he may be talked into staying a little longer though," she said as she placed her hand on her pregnant team mates growing belly. "People do change Jubilee, don't worry. We'll all be here for you and the baby no matter what. But I don't think you're going to have too much to worry about with Logan, he loves you. Now, get some rest and come see me in the morning."

"Will do doc," Jubilee relaxed and closed her eyes and was already asleep thanks to a 'suggestion' from Jean before she left the room. Jean just hoped the 'suggestion' was strong enough to last her through the night. She was worried, but there wasn't much they could besides wait for the baby to come at this point. Some pregnancies were just harder than others...

You think you have the best of intentions  
I cannot shake the taste of blood in my mouth

Of course Marie woke up later than she had planned to – she had wanted to head out about 7am before the rest of the mansion's 'morning people' had perked up and were watching. But no, she had to roll out of bed at the crack of noon! Why hadn't she set that alarm? Marie silently cursed herself and made a wish that Logan was sleeping it off like he always did after pulling a couple of all nighters to get back on time...

She sat down at her computer, and pulled up the files with the letters she had long ago written in an attempt to 'clear her head' that Jean had suggested. Marie hadn't ever told Jean about any of her feelings, how she was handling everything with Jubilee one would never think that Marie was the one needing to clear her head – but Jean must have sensed it rolling off of her at times. The trouble with living with psychics is that you can't hide everything, no matter how hard you try, she thought.

Of the three letters there was one to Jubilee, one to Jean, and a shorter one meant for the rest of the team. Marie knew better than just to take off, if she did they would assume the worst and start searching for her – she wouldn't make it to the state line before the team showed up in the Blackbird worried and wanting her to come home if she didn't explain herself. She also knew she wasn't ready for one on one confrontation with anyone. She was trying to be the strong one, and she couldn't be strong if she had to look them in the eyes and tell the truth – especially Logan – he's smell the lie on her and wouldn't stop until he had the truth. Marie wanted him and Jubilee to be happy, and she was afraid that if she was honest, it would somehow ruin their chance at happiness. Marie didn't want the feelings she had so long ago tried to bury to rear their ugly head and ruin anything for the couple – they already had it hard enough. She may have been jealous, but she really wasn't down right hateful.

She first emailed them to herself – so she could send them from her I-phone after she was gone since everyone was awake now. She'd stop once she was outside the gates and send them, to give herself the best chance at a smooth trouble free get away. Then she grabbed her bag and purse, shut off her laptop, loaded that as well, and headed straight to the garage. As she got nearer to the garage she could hear arguing. Damn, she thought, not now...

Wouldn't you know, Logan was already there picking a fight with Scott over that damn bike again! She crept up slowly, knowing Logan would notice her scent, but hoping he would be too busy heckling the team leader to care about her. Maybe he would think she was just heading out on a shopping excursion, and not even look her way...

"Goddammit Logan! You always do this shit! WHEN are you going to grow up and act like a real fucking man huh? When are you going to at least call to check on the people you pretend are family? " Oh...so it wasn't the bike that had Scott yelling...Marie thought...well good...someone else can put Logan in check, she was done trying anyways.

"What are you talking about Scooter? Why won't anyone just tell me what's wrong? Rogue hinted at it, Jean kicked me out and I could smell that something is wrong with Jubilee. Why the fuck is everyone so goddamn secretive all of a sudden?"

"It's no secret Logan, if you had rolled out of bed for breakfast, you would have heard the whispers all through the dining room. Now why don't you head back in that mansion and go talk to your 'girls' and find out for yourself? Or are you running again already, is it too much to handle?"

"Fuck you Scott, I was just going out for a minute, I planned to be back for dinner, since no one seems to want me around."

"Do you know how selfish that sounds? Like they need once last chance to miss you before you grace them with your presence? You are just so wrong Logan. I suggest you head back in there and grow a pair and go talk to the people that have been hurting and missing you these months you were gone."

Right then, Marie knew Scott had pushed it – no one challenges Logan's manhood – and then it all came crashing down on Logan.

"Right boy scout...Grow a pair like you did while I was gone? I smelled her last night, I know what's up." Logan said with a smirk on his face.

"What are you babbling about now Wolverine?"

"Jeannie – you finally figured out where to put that creamy nub you call a penis and got her knocked up, so now you think YOU are a man huh? That you can tell the big bad Wolverine what to do...I get it...Maybe I can get a piece of Jean now since she's already knocked up huh? No worries about me getting her pregnant at least..."Logan was teasing him simply because he could, just to get a rise out of Scott and he did, but not what he was expecting...

That was when Scott's left fist came flying out of nowhere, straight into Logan's metal lined jaw. Marie heard a few bones break, and knew they were probably in Scott's hand since he lacked a metal lined skeleton. She hadn't guessed that was coming at all and obviously, neither had Logan by the look on his face. He was so shocked by Scott's actions, he didn't even try to swing back at him.

"No numb nuts, but I HAVE been working on that, saving it for you. It's not Jean, it's Jubilee."

Scott's words clearly had a much stronger impact than his fist had on Logan, who had a trickle of blood on the corner of his mouth but had probably already healed by the time Scott walked out of the garage and back towards the mansions basketball courts. Marie just waited there, torn. She wanted to fix things for her old friend. It was still ingrained in her nature to help when she was needed, but she also was ready to make her own hasty retreat, and he was blocking that hasty part from happening. Hell, Logan was blocking both the 'hasty' and 'retreat' part since he was still standing there.

"I know you're there kid," he finally said, "How much did you hear?"

"Enough sugar, I heard enough." Marie stepped into the garage, leaving her bag behind her but purse still on her arm, she had a plan now...

"Where you headed kid?" He saw the keys in her hand and her purse big enough to be a suitcase, obviously he knew she was headed out. He was just hoping she'd be back soon or offer for him to tag along. He wasn't ready yet to face the mansion, and most likely the wrath of Jean once she found out about his latest altercation with Scott.

"Just leaving for a bit, get some air and space. I do have you in my head after all," she bent the truth a little, not a lie, hoping he wouldn't sense it. Marie could always get Jean or the professor to forward her few belonging to her later. If she stuck with 'out' and hurried, he wouldn't have a chance to stop her. She knew he'd try if he figured out what she was planning. Somehow it was always 'okay for the gander, but not the goose' with Logan, and never the other way around like everyone quoted the old saying.

"I see," Logan had the feeling something wasn't right here. Maybe it was just the taste of his own blood in his mouth from Scott's outburst that was throwing him off. He wasn't used to letting people hit him without at least getting a few licks of his own in along the way. "Hey kid," he asked as Marie slid into the driver seat of her truck, "so, about Jubilee...how is she?"

"Honestly Logan, I don't know. She's okay, but not great, she could use you right now more than she needs me."

"Why are you still being so cryptic Marie? What does that mean?"

"It means," she said as she started the truck, "that I know everything, right now you know nothing, and you need to calm down and find her and talk. It's her story to tell, and it's your turn to hear it." She slammed her door shut, took several deep steadying breaths, and calmly backed out of the garage and turned onto the driveway leading from the mansion to her freedom just past those gates.

Marie was tensely watching in the rear view mirror to see if Logan would leave through the door she had entered – if he found her bag there now he would be on that damn bike of his chasing her down like her dad trying to figure out what was wrong and where she was headed. Thankfully she had enough in her purse to keep her going until she could hit a Wal-Mart or Target once she got far enough, she thought as she kicked herself again for not leaving earlier. But if he walked out onto the grounds, which she was betting was his next course of action...he wouldn't know for a while. She was right, just as she got to the gate she saw Logan heading out towards the woods. Thank you God, she prayed in her head. Freedom was moments away and nothing in sight to stop her after months of being Jubilee's care giver.

Logan watched her drive away, she was just headed to town he thought. Logan needed a little space of his own, but he couldn't leave again not even for a minute until after he had talked to Jubilee. If he dared go any further than the edge of the grounds, he had a feeling things with Scott would be worse when he got back – so he did the next best thing. He took off for the woods to run some of the anger out of his system.

Marie headed down the drive way, stopped as the gate opened and sent those emails she had forwarded to herself, sent Jean a text to 'plz read ur email, grab my duffel from by the garage and hang on to it, R' and then turned her phone off, and left.

Logan's first thought as he began his sprint through the grounds was that who ever had gotten his Jubes in a family way while he was gone was going to pay...dearly...He was jealous she hadn't waited...but then he hadn't waited to return to her, they weren't 'exclusive" or 'dating' he thought as he ran through the woods, slashing at the occasional tree with his claws. They had made no promises to each other, no vows of love...but still, how did this happen? He had gotten the impression that she had fallen for him, that she would just be waiting for him when he returned. Lord knows she had waited for plenty of other losers worse than him through the years. Maybe she had finally learned not to depend on the return of losers...Maybe he was just as bad as the men she had been with in the past.

As far as getting pregnant, well, he thought she knew better? Hadn't they gone over all that in that stupid sex-ed class the professor had made him give that time? Oh well, too late for the lecture wasn't it now? He'd be there for her; he had to be. That was what friends did. They stood by each other no matter what. He got the feeling the father hadn't been around much, if at all from how everyone had acted – well – and the fact there was no man there last night when she was passed out just Marie instead. If she still wanted him, he would have her and the baby. He'd do his best, try to stay at home more...he'd do anything for his girls. Then his thoughts turned to Rogue – Marie – suddenly so cold to him, not happy at all to see him.

Did she maybe know about him and Jubilee? Was that why she was hurt? Was it because she couldn't have him or because of something else going on? Logan didn't know though he did get the feeling that Marie knew and that played a major part in it...but he did know he was feeling better as he sat down on a fallen tree. Logan finally had a plan of attack now for how he would face this situation.

He caught his breath easily enough as he attempted to relax and tried to clear his mind for a few minutes. He was still mad at whatever rat bastard had used his girl and left her, but he knew he had to control that feeling. He didn't want Jubilee upset by his reaction...and he got the feeling it was meant to be a secret for her only to tell him by the way everyone was acting, not just coming out and telling him. Hell, the girl was probably scared he would hunt down and gut whoever had left her like this. Scooter was right for once it seemed, Logan needed to put on his 'big girl panties' as Marie would say and face this like a man...

He headed for the mansion, still cringing over the good intentions of those around him and the taste of blood in his mouth earlier in the day when the Boy Scout had thrown that mean left hook. Logan was tired of other people running his life, and he hadn't even been back a whole day yet. He had no clue what was about to hit him.

I keep on thinking that it's  
all done and all over now

Marie drove for hours without stopping. The mansions vehicles were always kept with a full tank of gas – since that incident when she had first arrived with Logan years ago when Stryker's men had raided the mansion, Scott had been sure every vehicle was ready for a swift get away. Silently she thanked him for that otherwise had she stopped she might not have made it very far. Marie was having second thoughts about leaving her best friend alone with the Wolverine. But no she reminded herself, Marie had to be first for a change.

She headed south first...but quickly changed her mind on that. She didn't have a home there to go to, hadn't since she had left years ago actually. It was only habit that had been pulling her that way at first...so she instead changed direction and began to head west, out towards the Rocky Mountains. She had made it to Alaska on a trip with Jubilee and Logan right after graduation one summer, and while it had been beautiful, it had been a bit too cold for her southern bones. She had, however, fallen in love with the mountains while they were there. Maybe Nevada, or California then? She didn't know what to do with herself exactly now that she had all this new freedom...in the last six months she had been busy spending every day with an eye and ear glued to Jubilee at all times, always at the ready to help her friend. Marie hadn't really planned out more than her escape – after the jail break, she had no direction, no place to go. She just needed to go was all she knew.

Marie was just grateful to finally have a break. She had done what she could for Jubilee for the last few months, but it was too much of a job for just one person, and no other volunteers had sprung up. Not that Jubilee would have taken it anyways, she had begun to distance herself from most of her other friendships. She knew they were all talking about her behind her back, at first thinking it was some crazy disease that had her constantly ill, and then discussing who could be the father once her pregnancy was revealed to be the cause of all the sickness. It had been tiring to be there every minute of every day for Jubilee – if Logan had been there to help maybe it wouldn't have been so bad – but with no help Marie hadn't had more than a few spare seconds to really make herself a priority. She still felt bad though...

Jubilee had been okay at first, a few small bouts of morning sickness. But as the weeks drug on it became apparent that she was not going to have an easy pregnancy. She was sick almost immediately just at the smell of food, after every meal, and to the point where she was down in the med-lab once a week at least. She had been given pills for the nausea, which most times came right back up, and was loosing more weight than she was gaining. Everyone said that pregnant women glowed, well, if Jubilee was glowing she was green like a radioactive spider and that was not the glow people were talking about.

Even though her 'baby bump' had finally popped up and made an appearance, at which point she could no longer hide her secret, Jubilee herself had become a walking skin and bones skeleton as the days went by and she couldn't keep her meals down. Hank and Jean were doing all they could, and kept making promises with each passing month that it would get better and go away. The baby had started kicking and moving, and the girls had tried a few times to go shopping, but had given up on that. Every smell at Baby's -r- Us had sent Jubilee into more fits of dry heaves and the mall was a definite no go as there was no way to get around the evil odors of the food court. That was probably the most devastating thing for Jubilee. The mall had become her enemy simply because of the stupid food court! They had finally settled for online purchases just the week before Logan's return, ordering as much as they could to be delivered so something would be ready when the baby came. Jubilee had opted to wait on a baby shower until after the baby came and she could enjoy the food at the party again.

Everything they ordered was in yellow too, almost everything that it. Jubilee hadn't wanted to know what she was having, and justified it by stating that "this way she could order as much yellow clothing as she wanted and no one could tease her". Marie had ordered her some other outfits, greens and whites, and one each blue and pink so at least SOMETHING would be gender specific the day the baby came. She smiled looking back at that – most of the stuff they had found online had yet to arrive before Marie had left. It would be a nice surprise for Jubilee.

Why was she so wrapped up in thoughts of a home that hurt so bad? Marie shook it off...and went back to her own future. What was she going to do? Where would she go? She spotted a small town ahead, and saw a sign for an IHOP...well...even if they didn't have WiFi she had her i-phone and could stop, eat, check her emails and then maybe make some plans over a soda and lunch.

You keep on thinking you can save me, save me

By the time she had finally been ready to stop, Marie could tell she was overdue for dinner by the way her stomach was eating her lungs. Plus, she was achy and ready to stretch! She first pulled in and gassed up her old Chevy truck – still playing by Scott's rules of never leaving a vehicle on empty in case she needed to run out of habit. She laughed at herself in the restroom of the IHOP – she had asked for a quiet booth for one, and excused herself to wash up – she had figured she must look a mess, but she wasn't that bad at all. Something about being on the road always left her feeling like the grime and dust of her travels had collected all over her. Maybe all of the times she had gone on trips with Logan on the bike, who knew, but she was traveling by truck this time and didn't need to pick bugs from her hair.

She took her seat, ordered iced tea, and told the waitress she would be a while. "Don't worry, I'll tip well," Marie smiled at her. She had worked for a while in a dinner herself when she had been on the road after her parents had tossed her out, and had always hated 'campers' that sat for hours and then left a small tip...she wouldn't do that to this young girl...it was probably part of why she hadn't lasted there long...

She flipped open her laptop...no luck with the WiFi...shut it and pulled up her emails on her phone instead. From Jean she had this:

"Rogue, I understand these last few months have been trying on you. You have done so much for Jubilee and been there for her when Logan should have been instead. Please don't be gone long, even with him back, she needs you. She sees you as a sister, and needs her family around her right now. Take whatever time you need, but please, come home soon. We all miss you already. Jean

p.s. I found your bag – let me know if you need anything and I will send it overnight. :)"

Always throwing out those smiley faces Marie thought to herself – like Jean would just hug you if she could, but since she couldn't do that through email, she'd electronically send a smile. In fact, it made Marie smile a little just seeing it...until she read the email from Jubilee.

"Chica, PLEASE come home soon. I KNOW it's my fault, I know how you felt about Logan and I'm so sorry chica! PLEASE don't leave me alone here! I don't know what I am supposed to do without you! We haven't even picked any good names out yet! If you aren't back before I have this baby, I'm naming it Elvis if it's a boy and Priscilla if it's a girl! OMG! I think I here Logan headed this way...ttyl."

That one left her sad again – she had after all just ditched her best friend in her time of need, and Jubilee had seen through Marie's facade on top of it. They had both avoided the topic since Jubes had sprung the news on her, but Marie could tell she knew how she felt by the brief words Jubilee had typed out to her and it caused a feeling of shame to wash over Marie again. Jubilee knew Marie had loved Logan, and she knew Marie couldn't act on it because of her dammed skin. She had told her time and again while Marie held her hair out of the way as she vomited, and while they felt the baby kick the first time, and saw it's face on the ultrasound monitor the first time she was 'sorry for what she had done'. But beyond that repeated apology, they had never talked about it and Marie had always brushed it off. Well, maybe with Marie gone Jubilee could stop being sorry and start worrying about being a mom. Moving on there was the email from the professor.

"Rogue, I understand better than any other team member your integrated personality with yourself and the Wolverine's own mind. Please, take all the time you need, and do contact us periodically to be sure to let us know you are well. If you need anything, just ask. Your monthly checks for working at the academy will still be deposited to your account – we shall call this an 'extended overdue vacation pay'. How do the young people say it now? 'LOL' I believe. Do remember to call or write. Charles"

She had a few others, mostly short little "see ya soons" from the the other teams members and a text or two as well. She deleted those, and ordered the Chicken and Waffles and before her food her mood had changed again, probably thanks to the Wolverine or Logan in her head trying to get her to turn around and go home.

They were all always trying to save her. The Logan in her head was so worried about her, like she couldn't function out on her own. He was right in a way, Marie didn't know if she could either. But she had to give it a try. She wasn't ready to sit around and watch Logan and Jubilee play the happy family. She wasn't ready to hold Jubilee through any more tears if he took off in a fit again. There was no one to hold Marie through her own tears, not that anyone safely could anyways with her skin and all, and that was her sign she needed to just be alone and distance herself. Maybe one day she could go back. But not now, right at this moment, Marie wasn't ready to even contemplate returning when she hadn't figured out where she was even headed yet.

They had hurt her, Jubilee and Logan, even if they hadn't meant to. She probably should have said something about her feelings sooner, made it more clear. But in Jubilee's state, it wasn't fair, and it wasn't fair to lead anyone on like she had with Bobby which was why she had never said anything to Logan. Her damn skin kept her from a real relationship and most likely at this point it always would. It was better for her to be out here alone anyways.

Marie ate her meal in a hurry, then she headed for the nearest hotel, and cried herself to sleep again. It was her turn to be weak finally, she didn't need anyone to save her, she just needed time to save herself...

My ship is sinking but it's  
all good and I can go down  
You've got me thinking that the party's all over

Marie slowly made her way into Kansas. Driving for a few hours, just taking whatever road she felt like at the time, stopping when she felt like, following no maps and no planned out routes. The freedom of the daytime was nice for her. Each night, she would find a hotel, and cry herself to sleep. The quiet darkness of the night was when reality closed in and the freedom left her, exchanging places with sorrow and loneliness.

She missed her friends, the only family she had ever really had as far as she had always been concerned. But she still couldn't stand the thought of going back there to the mansion, seeing them happy, knowing she never would be. Jealousy still had a grip on her stronger than anything else most times. She had turned her phone off and left it off for a week. That first night away, Logan had called her so many times the battery had gone dead. When she got up in the morning, and had seen that she couldn't even count the number of missed calls she had from him alone, well, she cut him off and with him the rest of her friends for a while. She hadn't checked her emails either that first week. Most of the tiny out of the way places she stopped didn't have WiFi and if she had turned that phone on for even a minute, she would have probably come unglued at him if he had called again. The peace and quiet was nice at first.

When she finally found her way to Dodge City, Kansas a week into her road trip, she found a McDonalds with WiFi and flipped open her laptop over a big mac and coke...Ignoring everything else she found another email from the professor first -

"My dear Rogue, please do check in and let us know all is well. Logan was, well, to put it nicely 'peeved' at your departure. I must admit he handled Jubilee's news shockingly well however. It seems he intends to stay put for a while at least, which is a relief to Jubilee as it is the rest of the team. If that has anything to do with your vacation, I am sorry my dear. I wish you would return so we can continue to work on controlling your mutation and perhaps one day find you a bit of the same happiness Jubilee and Logan are sharing now. Please, do email or call at least or even perhaps drop us a post card soon. Charles"

She responded to him as a kindness – he had after all done so much for her over the years, and was still providing for her on this excursion of hers.

"Professor – I am well, I have just been taking time to think things through and breath a little for myself. I hope you understand and are not offended that it has taken me so long to respond. It just seems here in the middle of America free WiFi is a bit much to ask for most times and I can't turn the phone on as Logan already blew it up. Yes, LOL is what we say here and that → :) is a smile for you. Thank you for understanding again my 'vacation time'. I will write more soon. Rogue"

She signed off and closed the laptop before any more emails could ruin the quasi good mood she was in. Marie didn't want to think any more about the mansion or it's happy little occupants, she was fine in the knowledge that Logan was 'peeved' at her. She was however tired of running. She was ready to be in one place for a while. So she flipped the laptop back on and pulled up travel trailers for sale locally. It was a nice compromise between being able to move around and still having something familiar with her to call home. Probably why they called them mobile homes she laughed to herself.

She figured it would be a money saving compromise of sorts as well – a home on wheels – and her inner Logan liked that idea. She balked at the thought at first, but knew she would always have that inner Logan to answer to and she was tired of forking out so much of her cash on the road side motels that half of the time had questionable standards of cleaning. So she started her search for a small trailer to tow behind her. She could stay at a campground temporarily and when she tired of one spot, move on, but still have something familiar around her and underneath her – a home. She found one in her budget, and older silver job that had been well cared for, and made a phone call from her cell which she turned on ONLY for that call, ignoring all the missed texts and voice mails she had from the last week of self imposed solitary confinement. Then she quickly turned it back off, ignoring the missed calls and messages blinking at her again, and went to look at her new 'home'.

After 5 minutes she stepped out of the little trailer and said , "I'll take it," and started pulling the cash from her back pocket. She had stopped at a local bank to make a withdrawal. It was only $1,500, but being a small town they acted like they had to run 3 towns over to collect enough funds for her. The old man selling the trailer looked at her cautiously as well – she was a stranger in a small town and one with cash, a woman by herself – he was suspicious, she could feel it. Why did it always have to be old men in small places like this that were so distrustful of a woman with cash and a mind of her own she thought, but didn't voice it. Instead she smiled past his suspicions and started counting the cash out into his out held hand.

Marie made up a lie quick to ease his mind, "I lost my old trailer when a tree fell through it at a campground in Texas. They felt bad and ponied up the money to replace it pretty quickly. I guess they were afraid of a lawsuit, but I'm not that kind."

The man couldn't stop himself from asking, "What's a young thing like you doing living day to day in trailer?" He had grand-kids her age, and would never want one of them even as they neared 30 to be out on their own like that – it just seemed so lonely to him.

"I'm newly divorced and figured I would finally see the world," she smiled through the lie, grateful he wasn't like Logan and able to tell she was fibbing. Really though, it wasn't a complete fib – she was divorced in a way, from her old life, and she was ready to see the world a little. "I was thinking about hanging around for a while here in Kansas, you know if anyone is hiring for a part time or temporary job?"

"No ma'am, but if I hear of anything I'll let you know Miss..." he was filling out the paperwork now to transfer it to her name. Shoot, her name...if she put it on there Logan would be able to find her if he felt like...well then...

"Anne, Anne Creed," there, she thought, that ought to throw him off pretty good. He'd never think to look for her beyond her name or one of the aliases the professor had for all of them, and Victor Creed's name was one he'd certainly never guess she would use.

"Well Miss Creed, take care of her. We've had the old girl a long time and now that my wife is gone, I'm not planning on doing any more traveling," he handed her the key to the door, "Good luck on your travels." he said as he shook her hand.

"Thank you sir, and I will be careful," Marie said as she got in the truck to hook the little trailer to it.

She drove away slowly and cautiously, so he wouldn't worry about her taking the trailer. She could tell from his last remark a lot of good times and memories had been made in the trailer she now had hooked behind her truck. 'Oh well,' she thought to herself, 'No more good times, just me and my misery now.'

Marie hadn't really been planning on staying in town, she had simply said that to make the old man feel better about letting his once beloved trailer go with a stranger. She got on the highway and headed for Colorado. She planned to stop at a liquor store, load up on something to drown her sorrows in, and make camp at the emptiest little campground in the middle of nowhere she could find once she crossed that state line.

Well I can't stand to be with myself  
This liberation's seemingly rare  
And I can't stand the taste of your mouth  
This sublimation's out of my hands

Logan had come in from his run through the woods and headed straight for Marie's room – he wasn't ready to confront Jubilee yet about what she had been up to while he was gone. He wanted to fix things with Marie first, hopefully that would be easier.

As he approached the door, he could smell sadness and Jubilee – but not Marie, well, not FRESH Marie, just the stale smell of an occupant gone for several hours now. He wondered to himself what Jubilee was doing in there, and figured if fate had seen it fit to throw them together now then he would have to deal with her first. Marie must not be home yet anyways if the firecracker was alone – they didn't too much apart from each other.

"Hey," he said as he eased the door open and slid into the room, "How have you been? Did you miss me?" Logan was hoping she would perk up a little, not feel too bad about what had happened while he was gone. He did notice however her once toned arms were now stick like, and her hair was somewhat stringy and less well kept than she usually had it...something was wrong with his girl...

"Mmmhmmm" she said as she nodded out a yes. Jubilee had heard her phone pinging with Rogue's email just an hour ago, had discovered her best friend was gone and had put it together that it was her fault – well, her's and Logan's fault anyways. Sure, Rogue said she just needed some time and space, called it a "Wolverine thing from having him in her head so long" in her email, but Jubilee knew there was more to it now that Logan was back.

He walked over to kneel in front of her, since Jubilee hadn't turned to face him at all from the edge of Rogue's bed where she now sat, and he almost fell over backwards! He wasn't expecting what he saw in front of him, actually, in front of Jubilee. She was so, so... BIG! He figured he'd been gone six months, maybe a month or 2 to get over him and THEN she had a fling or one night stand that had left her pregnant and alone. He had assumed she would barely be beginning to show. He had not expected what he was face to face with now. It looked to him like she wasn't that far off from popping at this very moment so she must have been over him quicker than he had thought. Logan had to reel in the Wolverine from going off at her for being so quick to get over him, and for letting this happen to herself.

Jubilee saw the Wolverine flash through Logan's eyes, and she just laughed a little. Jealousy, she had clearly seen it for just a second, he didn't know it was his! "So, I guess someone spilled the beans before I could – you don't look too shocked at my new arm rest," she said as she rubbed her belly and laid her arm on top of it to emphasize what she meant.

"Yeah, Scooter popped off at me in the garage earlier about you and Rogue needing me. He let it slip along with a good solid hit to my jaw. I think he broke a few bones." That last part had them both laughing a little, being a royal pain in Scott's ass was something they had both always been good at and had shared as a hobby of sorts over the years.

"Well, at least it wasn't a total shock. I wasn't trying to hide it...it's just..." she was afraid suddenly he would think she was hiding something this whole time and didn't want him to think that at all.

"I know, I never called, or I would have known. I know." he said as he ran a hand over her hair and then unable to resist he pulled her close to him in a hug. "I'm sorry, I should have called, checked on you, let you know I was okay, asked how you were doing. I'm so sorry."

"Logan, it's okay. I know you need your space." Jubilee held him back just as tight – she had missed him, she had fallen in love with him before he had left and had needed him so badly this whole time, and she knew she had lost her best friend just now over him. She hoped she wouldn't loose him too.

"So...when is the rug rat planning on making his appearance?" Logan was not only really curious as to when she was due, but also a small part of him was wondering how long she had waited before finding another man to warm her bed. He couldn't help it, it was in his nature to be jealous.

"First week of August," she said as she looked him straight in the eye and hoped he was smart enough to do the math – she could sense he hadn't really grasped it was his yet. It hurt her that he didn't come in spouting joy at being a daddy soon, but she had fast figured in her head he must have thought she had found someone else. He had been gone six months after all, missed Christmas, New Years, everything really in that time. How was he to know she hadn't been with anyone else?

"Wait..." Logan was about to fall over again, "So, do I have to ask? I mean, I'm not good at math, and parenting math 101 was a class I skipped" his eyes were wide with fear, Jubilee thought, but fear of what she wasn't sure yet. She hoped it was just normal 'new daddy' worries and not anything that would set him running.

"It's your baby Logan. Don't worry, only a few people know and Scott isn't one of them." She added quickly – she was still waiting for a reaction that would show her more clearly how he felt in a long term sense.

"OH God! You mean, me...you...OH GOD! Are you okay? Is the baby okay? What is it? Does it have claws? Are you gonna be okay?" he just kept sputtering out questions – and she laughed again.

"No, no claws yet, it was the first thing Hank and Jean started scanning for."

"Oh thank GOD! I had a moment I thought ...well..." relief washed over his face so plainly she couldn't miss it.

"I know, the doctors did too, and they have been monitoring that. But no, no claws. Though I think it's in there trying to paff me right now. Wanta feel?" she asked as she placed his hand over where a foot could be felt kicking to get out already. "And no, I don't want to know what it is so they have kept it a secret – but if you want to know, and promise you won't tell, I bet Jean would tell you" she said through a flat face, devoid of emotion so as not to sway him on her next question, "That is, if you want to stick around?"

"What do you mean if? Of course I wanta be here darlin'!" he was shocked she would think he would do anything else, surely she knew he was more honorable and cared for her more than that!

"Well, Logan, I didn't know. I mean, I know you like your space and time alone and all, and if you ever need to jet again I get it. I really do," she was trying not to cry again.

"No, no way am I ever leaving again! We're a family now – sure a messed up one – but a family. I needed to be here for you. Why didn't you make the prof call me on his head phone?"

"Because, I didn't want to MAKE you come home, I didn't want to burden you, or make you feel obligated. I wanted you to be here freely IF you choose to be. I've known you long enough to know you're not happy when you have to do stuff, you're happy when you choose to do things."

Logan paused for a minute – a part of him had known he thought that it might have been his. Maybe he had even been hoping on his way up here that it was. Sure, another small part, the animal in him, had hoped not, hoped he would still be able to run when he felt like. The Wolverine did NOT like to be caged...and a baby was a cage in a lot of ways. But hearing that it was his, well, suddenly that revelation changed his inner Wolverine's attitude. A cub, a mate, not the right mate, but still now he had a mate. Logan had to wonder what his inner self meant by that, but at least it wasn't screaming RUN.

"No darlin', I wouldn't ever run now. I would have come back because I wanted to, really. I would not ever have blamed you for making me come home." he said as he held her close again. "Everyone acts like it's been hard on you, why didn't you make Chuck get me back here sooner?"

"I told you, I wanted you to have your freedom Logan. I know you need it from time to time."

"Well, things will be different now. I bet Rogue will be relieved I stayed calm and didn't blow up," he said with a huge grin – of course she HAD warned him to keep it together, which had helped a little. "Where is she by the way?"

This was the part Jubilee had been dreading, she figured he would keep it together at first – she knew how she looked these days, like Skeletor walking around with a beach ball for a gut and very fragile from the way people treated her. She had figured her pathetic sickly appearance would keep him calm at first. But she knew this next piece of information would set him over the edge.

"She left Logan."

"I know, she said she was going out for a while, I saw her in the garage. But when's she gonna be back? Doesn't she tell you everything?"

"I don't know, but no time soon from what I can tell."

"What?" his voice changed, he stood up, almost as if to take a defensive stance against an imaginary enemy, "What do you mean by 'no time soon'?"

"Come here Logan, please, sit back down and stay calm for the baby okay? Yelling makes it kick more, and my kidneys hurt," she said with a laugh meant to lighten the mood and calm him down before he really exploded. "Here, I printed it out so you could see. She must have sent this just after she left this morning," Jubilee handed over the piece of paper.

He took the printed out page she held out and leaned on Rogue's desk by the window to read it.

"Hey Jubes, I know this may come as a shock, or maybe not, but now that Logan is here, I'm headed out for a change. My inner Wolverine is finally demanding I go see the world and take some time to travel and be free of the mansion for a while, and I can't deny it anymore. I won't totally lie, it does hurt every day to see all of you so happy, having normal lives, and I am stuck literally in my own skin. But don't think for a minute it's the thing with you and Logan and the baby that made me leave. I wish I could stay for you, I wish I could be there for you. But I can't right now – it hurts too bad – I need a break before I loose it okay? Please understand, don't be mad, and send me TONS of pictures of my niece or nephew when it gets here okay? I'll check my emails when I can, call when I feel able to, and I will miss you every moment. And if Logan lacks the balls to stick around, well, I WILL come back home then for you Jubes...but I hope he is man enough to hang out and at least ya'll two can earn an A+ in Lamaze class or something. LOL...I can see it now...Anyways, I'm not sure where I am headed or what I am doing...I just know I need space, to move to be free. I love you and miss you already. You're better than family Jubes and I'll write more soon. Rogue"

Logan took a deep steadying breath – he had to know - "Jubilee, what doe she mean about the thing with us?"

"Logan, you know it and I know. Rogue loves you. She always has, and I think she was hurt when she found out I had been with you. I mean, c'mon man, I poached from her in a way."

"But she never said anything, never acted on it, I figured it was a father/daughter thing Jubilee," he was stumped – he had tried at one time, when Rogue had turned 21, to make the moves, make her HIS girl...and she had always turned him down.

"Yeah Logan, I know, that was always how she played it, because of her skin. She didn't want to deal with another 'Bobby fiasco' ya know? A man tries to love her, can't COMPLETELY love her and gives up and leaves her over her skin..."

Yeah, Logan knew all that...but still...he would have found a way if she had really wanted...he was confused...he knew better than to tell a pregnant Jubilee he was having moral issues with this...now was time to focus on her and their relationship...it was not time to focus on what he could have had but instead on what he did have with Jubilee. 'And the cub!' his inner Wolverine chimed in. Yeah...that too...

"Well...let's say you and me go to my room and make up for lost time a little...if it's safe?" He asked as he scooped her up.

"Yeah Logan, it's safe. Just don't feed me anything and I won't barf on you." she smiled up at him as he carried her to his room.

"Has it been that bad darlin'?"

"Yeah...seems my little rugrat in here kicks everything I eat right back out."

"Well, let's see if having me around doesn't help some huh?'

Logan carried her to his room, and spent the next hour watching her sleep. Her sob fest in Rogue's room before he found her had left her tired. When he couldn't stand to sit still any longer, he penned a quick note and left it on the pillow where she could easily find it 'Jubes – gone to talk to Chuck – be back soon. Love, Logan' Hopefully she would stay put while he reamed Chuck over letting Rogue go so easily...surely the mind reader knew what she was up to this morning!

As Logan headed to the professor's office, he kept thinking back on the Wolverine's thoughts earlier, in particular the one about the 'wrong mate'...it had felt weird kissing Jubilee after that and that had not been an issue before then. It had felt wrong having her in his bed, though she had been in it before, and in much more compromising positions than just laying there sleeping. While part of him was excited to find out about the chance of a cub – a family – he was scared. He was worried about Rogue, MARIE, and he still hadn't shook off that odd feeling of doom that he had since returning late last night...he was probably just terrified of being a daddy and all it entailed...but still...Maybe it was just Jubilee bringing up the part about Marie hiding her feelings for him even...

Logan had to admit, he felt a little disgraced at himself over that part and he was headed to take it out on someone, even if all he got to do was yell at Chuck...

You stay 'cause you think you want me  
Pray when you need advice  
Hey keep your sickness off me (I'm trying to get through)

Jubilee had a sense that Logan only stayed out of honor, responsibility to her and the baby, at times at least. But truthfully, as sick as she was, she didn't care. She needed someone here for her, someone that was dedicated to her and with Rogue gone, Logan was it. She loved to hear it, it wasn't that she didn't and she could tell he cared for her too – he said the words 'I love you' often enough. But it wasn't some hot smoldering passionate thing, not like it had been at first. It was more of a convenient casual thing between them now, and she didn't mind it. She didn't have the energy for hot and passionate anymore anyways.

Rogue had been gone nearly four weeks already, Jubilee was getting closer to her due date and hadn't heard much or often from her friend – just a few random post cards, occasional emails, enough to know Rogue was still alive. Jubilee knew Logan had looked for her at first, he had demanded Chuck contact her and bring her home, and Charles had refused. Logan had fumed rather silently after that blow up – not wanting Jubilee to feel like she was second to Marie of course. But he had moved forward after that, focusing on Jubilee, the baby, and getting ready for his or her impending arrival.

Logan had vetoed a lot of the bright yellow madness Jubilee and Marie had ordered online – stating that it may have been 'unisex to some but it was too girly for him just in case'. He had made a trip to town with his bike, and come home with a U-Haul truck loaded down with stuff later that day after the yellow madness had shown up. Stuff he wouldn't let anyone see...he had then banished Jubilee to her room for a few days and worked furiously round the clock to remodel his suite and the adjoining one, never once asking anyone's permission. The Wolverine took over and he was on a mission.

The professor didn't say a word about it, he was grateful Logan had taken on the role of father to be – and if that meant a few walls were destroyed and rebuilt, well, it's something he himself would most likely have suggested anyways. A few other residents were however bold enough to complain about hammering and power tools late into the night and Logan quickly shut them up as well. He had less time than he wished to get this right and ready for his mate and cub. The Wolverine in his head kept chanting and egging him on to hurry and finish, that he needed it soon, and he never said why. It honestly made Logan a little nervous to sense so much tense energy in his inner self, but it was probably the nerves of a feral father to be and he squashed that feeling down again.

The dark sense of something coming, something being wrong was still there underneath it all, and Logan continued to blame it on impending fatherhood – after all, most people did get nervous when they had their first baby on the way. He went and got Jubilee one night and carried her into their new room. One he had remodeled himself. He was proud of what he had done, and couldn't wait until morning to show her. This had been weeks in the making and he was ready to reveal it.

The once stark, plain room he had kept off and on all those years as his and his alone was now warm, cozy even (if you dared to say it in front of the big bad Wolverine) was all Jubilee could think at first. He had painted the walls a rich but light shade of brown, added hand woven rugs in native American themed patterns, and a real frame to the bed – heavy hand made log cabin style, with matching bedding in hues of deep brown and reds to accent it all. Lamps with actual suede shades on them on matching end tables and a dresser were there, and to her left she saw a door way had been adding to the adjoining room. She looked at him through teary eyes, always ready to cry anymore thanks to those helpful hormones Jubilee thought to herself...

She opened the door into what could only be described as an Asian extravaganza baby style! There were deep red accents, dark wooden furniture – a crib, changing table, rocking chair, everything a new baby could need! On one wall a beautiful mural was painted of bamboo and pandas and the Great Wall of China overlooking it! The box of 'surprise things' Rogue had ordered was in a corner, unopened, and all of her yellow monstrosity clothing, as Logan called it, was hung up and put away, along with other shades of green and white and a few blue and purple things as well peeking out from the closet. It was perfect. It was everything they would need, and it was uni-sex without being yellow. She was blown away by his vision for their child and felt her legs start to go out from under her, when something stopped her from falling.

Logan scooped her up and carried her over to the large leather glider rocker, sat down with her on his lap, and held her while she cried some more, again. Those hormones were about on his last nerves – shouldn't this be a happy thing? Did she hate it? What was wrong?

Finally, she straightened up and kissed him, confusing him even more. "I never thought anyone was going to care about this baby as much as I did, but you proved me wrong Logan. I love this. I love what you did for us and I love you." She kissed him again and settled her head on his chest.

"Thanks darlin' love you too," just then a kick was shared between the two of them, "and you too kid!" he said as he rubbed her growing belly.

"Why this Logan? Wouldn't it have been easier just to buy some Winnie the Pooh stuff? Who painted that wall over there? It's wonderful!" In typical Jubilee fashion she blew through a million and one questions without a breath between them.

"I had Kurt bamf in a friend of his with some talents in the arts and crafts department for that one darlin'. Only the best for our little rugrat – no store bought junk here," he said as he smiled down at her. "I wanted the room to be a reflection of the woman who created the baby that will live here."

"I love it Logan, thank you!" was all she could say before a round of dry heaving carried her into the bathroom again as if her stomach controlled her legs and where she went at this point.

That had Logan worried – it shouldn't be this hard, take so much out of her. She should be glowing, healthy, pregnant. Not barely getting by on the little bit she could keep down and getting weaker every day. She was constantly sick, did a fair job of hiding it from him at times, but with his senses he always new when his 'firecracker had exploded' he would tease her.

After the nausea had passed, Jubilee got her camera, and took so many pictures it was nuts, then sat down and emailed them all to Rogue, where ever she was. She wanted her to see that she was fine, that Logan was adjusting to the thought of being a daddy just fine, and how beautiful her babies room would be. That was the last time Rogue would hear from Jubilee...

Shame you can't take this from me  
Bane on the empty mind  
Hey keep your fingers off me, why can't I get through?

Marie hung around the state of Colorado – visiting places the locals suggested, or stuff she found on the internet. Basically she was just wasting her time and she was happy with that. She missed the mansion, and her friends, but the hurt was still there and she wasn't ready to put on her 'happy face' as her mama had always said and go fake it through the days there yet, pretending to be happy for her friends. It was easier to do it online – she got Jubilee's email that night – pictures of a vibrant cheerful room and telling her the story of how Logan had done it all in just a couple of weeks because the baby would be here soon. It only served to light the spark of pain and jealousy once again for Marie. Pain because she wasn't there and jealousy because she would never be able to have a moment of that happiness for herself.

She shoved those feelings aside long enough to type out a response.

"Jubes – it looks really nice. I am glad ya'll are so happy about the baby coming. You deserve it. I'll call you tomorrow or the next day finally – I know, I been promising to – but I will really this time and we'll catch up for real. Maybe I'll come see your little brat when it's born, but until then I am still having fun here touring the great US of A. LOL. Congrats on the beautiful room. Rogue"

She clicked send, and went to bed, not knowing that would be the last time she heard from her friend...

Two days later, Rogue called like she said she would, but got no answer – she figured her friend was probably still busy puking her guts up half the day and was thankful that at least she wasn't there for all that grossness! She had taken to leaving her phone on, but ignoring Logan's calls only. He had begun to call once a week, on Sunday night, and just once at that. Apparently he had gotten the message she had nothing to say to him – he probably even figured it was his fault for being gone so much of Jubilee's pregnancy and leaving Marie to deal with it. So when he didn't call on Sunday, Marie didn't think twice, maybe he had gotten the message that she had nothing to say completely by now and was giving up for a while.

When she never heard back from Jubilee, worry set in briefly. But not enough for her to call anyone else at the mansion – if something was wrong they would call her right? Marie figured so...packed up...and decided to head out. For some reason, she headed back east again, towards New York...maybe she was ready to at least be closer to them, if not quite yet to go home? Oh well, she'd travel where her instincts lead her for a while, it had been good enough so far. Why mess with what was working for her?

Jubilee clicked send, and laid her head back on the pillows – thank God for laptops so she didn't have to get out of bed to tour the world from the internet, she smiled to herself. She had laid down to upload her photos of the babies new room and email Rogue shortly after Logan had revealed it to her. Just minutes later, she got a message back from Rogue. She wasn't expecting a response so quickly, usually it took days to hear back from her friend. She jumped up to get Logan, who was still in the baby's room fiddling with things trying to get it perfect.

"Hey look! Rogue wrote back already, wanta..."as Logan looked up to see what she had to show him, all he saw was her falling down and he could smell blood, too heavy in the air for it to be nothing to worry about. Something was wrong, and he couldn't reach her fast enough.

As Jubilee headed his way, laptop in hand, he had first smelt the blood before he saw it, saw the light go from her eyes and knew something was wrong – seriously wrong. When he saw the blood he started to loose himself to the Wolverine, and tried to fight that back as much as he could. He managed to yell in his mind for Jean to be ready down in the med lab, scooped the mother of his child up in his arms and saw so much more blood...so much...and such a weak pulse barely there in her body as he held her close making his way to the lab...that was the last thing he remembered clearly for a bit.

Somehow, Logan got her down into the lower levels of the mansion, he didn't remember the trip down there. He did remember yelling at cussing at both Jean and Hank, and then they locked him into a containment cell. The claws had come out and he was too much to handle and take care of Jubilee at the same time.

"I told you, I FUCKING TOLD YOU! DID YOU CHECK DOES THE KID HAVE CLAWS? IS IT KILLING HER TO GET OUT? SHREDDING HER?" He had entered the med lab in a fit, one that no one could bring him back from calmly at the moment. The biggest worry Logan had since he found out she was carrying his child was the claws issue – he was terrified the baby would manifest claws before it was born and cut it's way out of it's mother. Hank and Jean had been watching already, scanning for it, and they too had a moment upon seeing all the blood where they were perhaps worried they had missed something.

"No Logan, no claws as of two days ago, and I doubt it will matter if you don't get a grip and calm down. Now please, back off and relax or leave," Hank said with his ever steady and professional tone as he tried to calm down and reassure Logan before it escalated into any more worse behavior on his part, "You being upset is NOT helping Jubilee right now."

"I don't FUCKING CARE! I TOLD YOU something was wrong I TOLD YOU to look into it further but NO it was all NORMAL you said!" at that Logan began destroying tables of instruments, tossing and throwing them aside until Jean stepped in with her mind tricks and they locked him up.

Hours went by, hours he sat there unable to help, to even hold her hand, and he was worried – Logan was so worried. This was the darkness that had been chasing him, he knew, the Wolverine in his head knew it, and something was not right. They would have let him out by now if things were okay. Why weren't they coming for him? Had they forgotten him? He tried to wait patiently, hoping if they saw him behaving on the security cameras they would come get him.

Jean came to him finally, after he had nearly clawed his way out, been shocked a few times, and had finally given up and was sitting there trying to feign calm and serene. She knew it was half an act to get out, and half that he had lost hope. She needed him to stay behaved and have a little hope right now, Jubilee was going to need it.

"Logan," he could tell she had been crying," I need to know if you are going to be calm now?"

"Sure Jeannie, I can try now tell me, what's wrong? Hows Jubilee doing? And the baby?"

"Logan, the baby is fine, right now she needs help breathing still, but Jubilee was close enough to her due date, she wasn't that premature. Probably a few days and she can leave the incubator, if not sooner. It seems the baby has your healing – but NO – no claws yet at least. It's a good thing it kicked in at birth, or the baby would be in worse shape."

Logan was confused – he could tell something was being kept from him. "Okay, make it real clear for me. SHE needs help breathing...SHE WHO? And if the baby is fine, how is Jubilee?"

"SHE is your daughter Logan. A tad bit under 5lbs, kind of small, but strong and loud like her parents. She is slightly premature and needs a little help for the next few days breathing but we may not even need to keep her in there that long. She doesn't quite have your super healing, but she is progressing very fast from a weak newborn preemie into a healthy perfect baby. We will have to wait and see." Jean was avoiding the obvious now, and for the first time Logan could recall, he began to cry, silently, just tears falling, in front of another person.

"Can I see her Jeannie? What aren't you telling me about Jubilee? I need to see her, tell her I'm sorry I wasn't there with her..." He didn't know if she was alive or dead, but he was guessing no matter what it was not going to be good when Jean did let him out. He only hoped she was still here, so he could see her one last time...please let her be alive still he prayed...please...

Jean knew he wasn't asking about the baby then, "You can Logan, but listen to me. If you don't stay calm for her sake, it will only make it worse. We've done all we can, we really have. I just don't know if Jubilee is strong enough after all she has been through to make it through this. Come on Logan, please behave yourself, and we'll talk more later about what's happening." Jean opened the door to the little jail he'd been in, and held her hand out to Logan as if he were some petulant child being allowed out of time out.

"I got this Jeannie, I'll behave. Where's Jubes?" He followed Jean as quietly as he could, willing his steps not to sound so heavy, not to resonate too loudly as though the noise could break her itself.

She looked so broken, much more than she had yet since he had been back, as she lay there in that medical bed, hooked up to every device imaginable it seemed to him. But he put on a brave face, the one he always wore except when he was with his girls, and approached her as quietly as he could, just in case, trying not to wake her. He noticed as he got closer she was paler than she had been since he had been back, and she just looked so fragile now...he pulled up a chair conveniently placed to the side of the bed, and sat down taking her hand as he did so.

"Hey darlin, hear you did good. Made a little girl." His words woke her even though he hadn't meant to.

"Yeah I did," she smiled up at him, "Did you see her yet? She's a tiny little squirt. Guess you got another runt to look after."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Now we just need to get you better because I'm gonna need you to do all the hard stuff." Logan teased, hoping to brighten her spirits somewhat.

"The hard stuff huh? Like diaper changes and breast feeding while you play peek a boo and braid her pig tails?" Jubilee knew he hated mushy things like that...his face said so right away. "I see you've changed your mind on what might be hard and easy."

"Yeah, you got me there...maybe I'll trade you. Ya think these guys could figure out how to make me lactate instead? I'll do all the late night feedings and you stick with bows and pink dresses and ponies and dolls and all the girly things instead?"

That made Jubilee laugh, holding her stomach as she did – she was still hurting pretty badly. Seems she wasn't designed to carry children – some women aren't Hank had told her trying to reassure her she wasn't some anomaly – she had hemorrhaged earlier that day, her uterus rupturing from the strain of growing to hold a child it was not within her body to allow it to carry. They had done all they could, but it had come down to a hysterectomy at the last minute and massive amounts of blood lost on her part. If she hadn't been so weak already from the months of endless puking, she'd probably be feeling better right about now. But she wasn't, she felt weak, and tired, and cold...

"Sure Logan...I'll look into it. In the meantime, how bout you hold me close for a while, it's cold down here and all they have are cheap blankets."

He did as she asked, sliding carefully onto the bed, and pulling her against his chest, noticing her chilled limbs and asked, "What happened darlin'? I'm sorry I couldn't keep it together, but I just lost it when I saw all the blood. I wish I could have been there with you..." he trailed off, realizing he had let her down by freaking out.

"Don't worry, they would have kicked you out anyways when they did the surgery."

"What surgery?" He was confused now, "Where's the scar? Can I see?"

"Sure, just be careful, I have staples and they kinda pull and hurt already." She lifted the blankets and moved her gown aside so he could see. "Don't worry, the baby doesn't have claws and I no longer have a uterus, seems I wasn't designed for all this baby making business, and the damn thing fell apart before the job was finished." she tried to joke with him, hoping he wouldn't worry.

"Oh darlin' I'm so sorry," he felt himself begin to cry again, "If I'd had a clue we would have skipped all this."

Jubilee cut him off fast on that note, "NO SIR WE WOULD NOT! I wouldn't trade her for the world right now!"

Hank and Jean were at the door way when they saw her vitals jump with her outburst, but Logan shot them "the look" that said he had it under control. "Shh, it's okay, I didn't mean it like that Jubes. I meant I would have been more careful that's all."

She relaxed again, as though that had been the last bit of effort to give in her body. "I'm just saying Logan, don't take it out on her, she needs you right now. I can't be there for her, I only got to see her for a minute before they whisked her away. Please, go check on her for me, and start thinking on names. We need a name for her."

"You'll be there for her soon enough, when you get better darlin', don't you worry."

"Okay, well, names then, focus on a name," she smiled at him, "and please go check on her for me."

"I will, I love you darlin'" he kissed her softly, easing off of the bed back onto his feet again. "I'll go get more blankets from Jean for you too."

"Thank you Logan, I love you too." Jubilee closed her eyes again, and laid back as if only to rest...

Logan walked out, finding Jean right around the corner waiting. "It's pretty bad ain't it Jeannie?"

"Yes Logan, it is. She lost a lot of blood, and she's severely malnourished from the months she's been unable to keep anything down. We did what we could, but Logan...well...I just don't know. I don't think there's anything else we can do for her. It's up to her now." Jean hated admitting it, but she knew in her heart Jubilee was letting go.

"She's strong Jeannie, I know it, she'll be okay. How 'bout I go see my new runt huh?" he smiled hoping and praying like Marie had told him that day to do, that Jubilee would be well.

"Sure Logan, this way. She's doing well enough to go visit her mother for a short while if you would like to carry her over there." Jean was silently hoping that would be enough to get Jubilee perked up a bit, maybe willing her to live for her child if she could have the baby in her presence.

"I dunno Jean...I mean...what if I squish her or something."

Jean laughed at him, "You won't squish her Logan, I'm more worried you'll drop her myself."

That had him, a challenge from Jean on his parenting! "I will NOT drop her. Lemme see her..."

Logan pushed Jean out of the way and found himself looking at the most perfect, most tiny human he had ever set eyes on! She had dark hair, but they both had dark hair, tiny slightly almond shaped eyes, and just enough spunk to look at her dad and let out a cry. He looked to Jean for reassurance, and at her nod, scooped the baby up as delicately as possible, holding her close to his chest to keep her warm almost instinctively.

"You are tiny, your mama was right. You do look like a squirt! How 'bout we go find your mama, tell her we're gonna name you Squirt since it's the first good name she has suggested, and see what she has to say about it." He looked to Jean to double check before walking too far from the incubator. She just nodded again in reassurance it was okay and held the door for him. As he made his way back over to the bed, Jubilee could barely open her eyes, but still held out her arms for her baby, her daughter.

"Hey there Squirt," she said, so softly even Logan had to strain to hear, "It's me...the one you been kicking in the gut for months now." He moved the baby into her arms, sliding back into his spot next to Jubilee and helping to hold the child just in case. "Don't kick me now okay? You left me with a pretty hefty scar kid" Jubilee laughed at her own joke, and looked up into Logan's eyes. "She's perfect isn't she?"

"She is darlin' she is, but I think we should name her 'Squirt' not runt. I agree with your idea earlier, she looks like more of a squirt to me." he teased back.

"Logan! We are not putting that on her birth certificate. I'm making that your job, since I had to do all the cooking, you do the dishes okay? Just run it by me when you think of it." Jubilee was so tired, and cold again, why did they keep it so damn cold in here?

"Sure thing, darlin'," he agreed. That feeling was back, stronger than ever, and the Wolverine in his head was making his presence known. Logan thought the worst was over, what else? 'What Jeannie told you Dumb Ass!' The Wolverine in his head roared at him 'She ain't gonna make it, just be still and enjoy these last moments...' the Wolverine retreated and Logan could sense it now, smell the death in the room as it crept over Jubilee's body, taking hold. He wanted to rage and to fight, but he couldn't, not with his girls here, he had to be calm and still for Jubilee, he didn't want her hurting in these last moments. They laid like that, like a family for what felt like ages but not long enough all at the same time. Machines eventually went off in the room where Hank and Jean were monitoring Jubilee, but they left them be, knowing it was impossible to do anything else for her now.

When Jubilee had finally gone still, and the baby was starting to fuss, Logan finally eased off the bed. Taking his daughter with him, he found Jean once again waiting for him just outside the door.

"I'll be back Jeannie, and I know you may not get this like my girls always did, but I NEED to go out right now. I can't be here right now, and I need you to watch the squirt for me. I swear I will only be gone a few hours, and I'll be back. But I need you to promise to take care of my girl here," he said as he handed back the baby to Jean. "She's all I have left at the moment Jean, but I need to go turn Wolverine loose for a while, 'kay?"

"I'll keep an eye on her Logan, just please, be careful and hurry back," Jean said, pleading almost that he really not disappear for weeks or months.

"I will be Jeannie, just, let me go work this off okay?" He asked over his shoulder, not even looking her in the eye. He didn't want anyone else seeing him cry.

Jean knew he would be back, she could sense that coming off of him strong enough she didn't have to try to read his mind. She could also sense the animal, the Wolverine, raging to be let loose for a while. At that moment she finally understood why he so often needed to be alone. It wasn't the man seeking out space, but the feral side of him longing to do it's own thing for a while that drove him to his violence and wanderings. She prayed he came back soon if only because they needed a better name than Squirt to call this little girl she now held in her arms...

Logan usually took off for a bar in times like these, found some innocent sucker to beat up in the cage, drank away as much pain as he could until his healing kicked in. Then he would typically find some random bimbo to pin against an alley wall later. Tonight though, he wanted to be alone with the Wolverine. He headed to the woods, and let the animal loose, raging, destroying, taking down any tree that stood in his path and shredding it with his claws. Out loud he was cursing the day he came to the mansion, cursing the day he met Rogue and then Jubilee, and cursing life and God and anyone else he could think of for not being fair. Inside he just hurt, more than ever before.

Life was never fair, not for Logan. Now here he was was alone again. Rogue had gone and left them all high and dry, not answering his calls, only responding to Jubilee and other team members. Jubilee was gone – God, she was GONE! How was he supposed to raise a baby on his own? He had only been teasing half way with Jubilee earlier – who would braid her hair? Teach her how to be a little lady and not a little beast like he was? Hell, how was he supposed to feed the kid? Logan had no clue what to do with a baby besides not to drop it. That was all his daddy training had consisted of to date – don't drop the baby. They hadn't had a chance yet to go over any of the other stuff. As he calmed down, he made his way to the lake. Logan sat there thinking, thoughts randomly running through his mind, and as the sun rose so did he, to make his way back to the mansion and help make plans for a funeral.

Sunday was the day of the funeral for Jubilation Lee. All the members of the x-teams had these kinds of things pre-planned just in case a mission ever went wrong. There weren't many details that needed seeing to really and there was no reason to hold off on it. Flowers, casket, clothing, it was all picked out already. The only thing Logan asked was that a notation of "mother" be added to her head stone. He felt like "lover" was too tacky, even for his firecracker and "wife" was a flat out lie because he hadn't had the chance to even contemplate marriage before she had been lost to him forever. There were so many bright yellow flowers, all over everything, and people came from what felt like all over. It was a bit overwhelming. In the midst of it all was his daughter, Squirt, because he couldn't bring himself to pick out a name yet. Squirt would do for now just fine.

At first she had been premature enough to warrant a few weeks in an incubator, but she had manifested a weaker form of Logan's healing pretty quick just after her birth, and now she was strong enough to be compared to an average full term baby. Small, but healthy. Logan was grateful for the calming presence of his tiny daughter. Without her he really would be lost, maybe even left the mansion already. But Squirt needed him, and babies on the back of a Harley were often looked down on by agencies like CPS. So they were there together at the funeral, together but alone in a sea of faces for all Logan cared.

He usually called Rogue once a week, on Sunday night. This week, since there was a wake to attend dutifully, and a new baby for him to deal with, Logan almost forgot about it. He was flat out tired and didn't care when he thought about it. He assumed she had been contacted by one of the other team members, and figured her lack of appearance today was enough said on her part anyways. That almost hurt more than the loss of Jubilee. When he did realize he had missed his Sunday call, he figured if she cared she would show or call herself for a change.

He had always thought of them like the Three Musketeers in a way - Him, Rogue and Jubilee against the rest of the snooty mansion world. The only three with any character and spirit, the ones who always broke the rules and laughed at punishment. He always figured they would all be there for each other when times got hard. When she didn't show up today, well, he figured he had all that thinking wrong. She had turned her back on them when he had returned, and he understood her hurt – but still – not to show up for the funeral of her best friend, that was just rude in a way not like Rogue at all. However, if that was how she felt about it, he wasn't one to push it. He'd call her later when he got all this 'daddy stuff' figured out and had a chance to come up for air. For now he had plenty to keep him busy, like diaper changes and bottles to heat up.

"Hey Chuck," Logan said as he approached the professor, "Me an' the Squirt here are gonna skip out for a while if you don't mind. She's getting fussy and my ears can't handle it any more than my nose can take this smell she's made for me."

The professor took a short whiff and didn't need to read anyone's mind to know Logan was right, "well then, Logan, take your little Stink Bomb back to your suite and let us know if you need anything." Charles was finally getting good at teasing back where Logan was concerned – the look on Logan's face was priceless and he needed someone on his level right now and not someone above him like he usually viewed the professor.

"Stink Bomb huh? I like it Wheels – ask Jeannie if she'll let me put THAT on the birth certificate since she already said no to Squirt, 'kay?"

"I will Logan, now please, do go get that baby changed and let us know what we can do for you if you need help at all. I shall go distract the masses so you can make an exit unnoticed." Charles winked at Logan and headed back towards the crowd, silently willing a few of the 'booze guzzling freeloaders' that Jubilee had been friends with to head on home...'bless her soul she had always hung out with a slightly raunchy crowd hadn't she?' was the only thought he had besides getting the bikers out before they set up camp in the mansions driveway or he had to keep any of them overnight to avoid DUI's...

Logan heard Jubilee's phone ring as he entered their – no, just his now – suite with the Squirt. But she was getting more fidgety, looking for something to latch onto to eat and he wanted to get her changed and less stinky before he fed her. He ignored the cell phone; he figured if they weren't one of the masses that had made it here today than they weren't important. Then he went about his business of locating a clean diaper, changing his daughter and getting her fed and settled down to sleep. More of a nap really, she never slept more than a few hours it seemed and Jean claimed that too was 'normal' and would get better as time went on.

He feel asleep in that big leather glider he had bought with Jubilee in mind, holding his daughter, and when Kitty stopped by a few hours later, she found them like that, wrapped them in a blanket, and left as quietly as she could. She knew the last few days had been hard on him, she'd tell him later that no one had thought to contact Rogue, right now he needed to sleep more than anything.

Rogue stopped again in Kansas for a while, swung by to visit the old man she had bought her little trailer from. But that odd heavy feeling to go home was still there, and still no word from anyone back home in two weeks now, a long time really to not hear from a single person. She usually got at least a text or email every few days from someone wishing she would return, that things weren't the same, yadda yadda...but nothing here lately...so she did the best she could to calm herself and sent an email to Jean that night from the same MickeyD's she had stopped at before.

"Jean, hey girl, it's been a while and I haven't heard from anyone. Just hoping all is well. Tell Jubes to get her ass on the phone and return my call when she ain't puking. Rogue p.s. :) ← means please and thank you"

She hit send and shut her laptop after checking the location of the campground from before, and headed out to set up a temporary home for herself again, but she couldn't shake that bad feeling to keep going, though she did fight it off...

Shame you can't take this from me  
Bane on the empty mind

Jean sat down with her coffee like she did every morning and began to check her emails like usual, not expecting to see what she did when she pulled up the message from Rogue. She nearly spit coffee all over her keyboard when she saw what had been written by the girl! Sputtering and choking still from the shock of coming across that, she promptly printed it out to show the professor. NO ONE had told her yet? Oh no, a grievous error had been made...and now she had to fix it, but how?

What fixes something like this? She didn't know, and headed straight to the professor's office, calling for Kitty in her mind to meet her there. She had been given the task of contacting Rogue, and clearly, she hadn't. Jean silently hoped it wasn't some last ditch chance at retribution for the whole 'Bobby/Kitty/Rogue' thing that had taken place so long ago. Please she hoped, let it be a mistake. Nothing was worse than revenge taken with such an evil heart behind it if it were the case.

Once they all were there, Jean had already shown the professor the email, he began as calmly as he could. The revelation that no one had told her hung heavy on his heart just now, and even Professor Charles Xavier was having a hard time controlling his emotions. "Kitty dear, did you contact Rogue like we had asked about Jubilee's services?"

"Well sir, I tried, but I didn't get a response." Kitty HAD tried. "I tried to get her phone number from Logan and you know he wasn't holding it together very well. I mean, it's not like we've been very close sir. I didn't have her number and so I emailed her." She looked down at the floor, ashamed she hadn't made a better effort.

"How exactly did you try? What did you send to her in that email?" he hoped it had been vague and that Kitty had not chosen to break the news through an electronic device but had instead saved it fro at least Rogue to call.

"I sent her an email to call the mansion ASAP, that we needed her."

"From the mansions general email, Kitty?"

"Yes sir, I did. I already know she ignores mine. I didn't even sign it from myself, just from the x-team." That was entirely the truth – Kitty had sent a few emails to Rogue apologizing to her for her involvement with Bobby, assuming that Rogue had finally left because of their relationship. She was in the dark as to anything else. When she never responded, Kitty had used her hacking skills to check, and sure enough Rogue had deleted all correspondence from her without even opening it. "I don't blame her for hating me professor, and since I know it I left myself out of it."

"Well, then, this is my fault for not being more clear. Rogue no longer checks that address at all when it shows up – she has those forwarded to her spam I believe – since she is not a part of the team at this time. I should have given you her number I suppose. Thank you Kitty, but do understand...she may be a bit angry with you when she does learn of all this. I suggest you lay low when she does come back home, understood? I would say we could hide it from her, but Logan knew you had volunteered to contact her, he won't be willing to hide it. I believe her presence these last few weeks has been missed greatly on his part, so please I hope you understand?"

"Yes sir, I do, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, and I did try to tell Logan the night of the funeral and before that I had tried to get her number from him, but he had already fallen asleep with Squirt that night and I had just assumed he had contacted her instead by the way he was acting when I tried to get her number, and well...I forgot after that," Kitty said, her eyes on the floor in shame the whole time.

"Well Katherine, I suggest you go now and make it right with the Wolverine, before he thinks it was intentional."

"Yes sir, I will," Kitty said as she excited the room.

"Jean," Charles started with a sigh, "Please do check and see that Logan has his daughter with him...I do not believe he'd risk hurting her just to snap Kitty's neck, and I get the feeling it would be his first instinct otherwise. He does so tend to take things personally all of the time."

"I know he does professor, but don't worry, I don't think the Wolverine is going to make too much commotion right now. Squirt's sleeping, you know that doesn't happen too often these days yet," they both sat in silence together for a while, contemplating what had passed recently and mentally sharing images and feelings back and forth.

She smiled thinking back on last week, when Logan had begged her and Scott at 3 am to 'Please take her just long enough my ears stop bleeding!' He was doing a good job over all. Logan had really stepped up surprisingly well much to everyone's relief in his role as a father. He still needed help now and then though – he hadn't read any of the parenting books Jean and Hank had given Jubilee and it was obvious he had no intentions of doing so now. He had argued that he didn't have time and couldn't do it with half a hand while he juggled the baby and tried to sleep when she did and Jean knew not to push it, just giving him advice as he sought it out.

Everyone had been surprised at how much he had cared for and loved his little girl, even though the circumstances surrounding her birth had been so tragic. Due to that, a few rumors had flown for a day or two that he was bound to jump ship and run, blaming the child for her mother's death. Jean and the professor had fast put an end to them, before Logan heard and gutted someone. At least his actions since then had proven the ones who had started those vicious rumors wrongs and that wasn't a concern any longer.

He had to be asked most times to turn her over to others – Logan loathed letting her out of his sight even for a moment just to shower. He did every feeding, every diaper change, and had even conquered bath time for her and himself by learning to strap he into her car seat while he first bathed and then holding her with him in the tub as he gave her the sponge bath a tiny thing like she was required. That had been a hilarious picture, but one that Storm had enjoyed sharing with Jean.

He had gone to Storm seeking advice, not sure of even how to bath something as small as his daughter, and how to get it accomplished for himself when he had to watch her. Storm had recalled a few young mothers in the village where she had been raised, taking their infants down to the stream where laundry, water, and bathing was done communally, doing much the same thing. She had told him to 'put on his swim wear and meet him in her room'. When he got there, she was dressed herself as if to head down to the pool, but instead led him and the child into the huge bathroom where her garden tub sat under a skylight so as not to leave her feeling claustrophobic when bathing. She knew the open space was calming, and he would be nervous, afraid of 'dropping her in the water and loosing her like the soap' had been his words. She had showed him it would be okay, walked him through it, and had left them to finish cleaning up, heading down to the hot tub to relax for a while herself since she was already dressed for it. Storm had shared that with Jean just days earlier and they had laughed until there were tars in their eyes – Jean now shared with the professor, hoping to lighten his mood.

It seemed he had also been caught singing once or twice to his fragile little girl. The professor had walked up on that – Logan trying desperately to remember or make up the words to 'Hush Little Baby' and most of it coming out like the lyrics to a death metal records sung as if on a Disney record. He was feeling better now; he had to admit it.

Logan was tough, but it seemed his daughter was tougher. Sure, she was a tiny thing, but strong willed, and very capable of letting out an ear splitting scream when you held her wrong or her bottle didn't find it's way into her mouth quite fast enough at feeding time. Much of that Logan claimed from her mother, denying he was anywhere near as loud as she had ever been. Sure, he still was clueless in many ways, and did plenty wrong, but he was trying so hard to be a mother AND a father for her, it really was amazing to watch him with Squirt.

Coming back to the present time, the professor switched back into speaking as he had things to do now it seemed.

"Well then, do be prepared down in the med lab, just in case. I'll get in touch with Rogue now myself and try to soothe this over shall I? Thank you Jean, keep an eye out in case any stitches are needed hmm?" still laughing over the image of Logan in swim trunks asking if he should attached a safety line to her 'in case he dropped her, like soap on a rope' the said goodbye.

Jean headed back to work, and the professor set forth calling Rogue personally until he got her on the phone and home. He was worried about delivering news like this with her so far away and no one there to comfort her. But he'd rather have her just know and cry her way across the country than to rush home at speeds he'd be paying tickets on for ages if she was left in the dark. It wouldn't be easy to break the news this late, it was still a fresh pain for him, one he hated reliving. Yet it had to be done...

"Logan," followed by the lightest knock so as not to wake Squirt if she was sleeping, "Please, Logan, I need to talk to you" Kitty was almost crying. She knew he would be upset with her, and was hoping she would make it out of his suite alive. Something told her right now from the death glares she had gotten in the professor's office earlier that Jean would be more than happy help hide the evidence of a homicide if she didn't make it out alive.

"Yeah Kitty, what's wrong?" He knew the smell of shame and sorrow coming off of her, had known it since the day Rogue had caught her with Bobby skating on the frozen fountain, and he wondered what else could make Kitty this upset. The smell of sadness that came with mourning Jubilee had a different hint to it than the one he had caught just now at his door.

"Logan, I'm sorry," Kitty hiccuped as she held back her tears, "I 't." It all rushed out as one word, one shame filled word he had barely registered.

"What's that Kitty? Run it by at human speed this time okay? Please, calm down kid, I can't handle you crying AND Squirt if you wake her, okay?" he had never really minded Rogue and Jubilee when they were upset, but other women had always turned to such a pitiful babbling mess when they had still seemed strong through their tears. Kitty was such a mess right now, and it made him uncomfortable in a way his girls never had.

Taking a deep breath, and readying herself for the tirade she figured would follow her statement, she said regretfully, "I tried to get a hold of Rogue, and I couldn't. She doesn't know about Jubilee." Kitty was staring at the floor again, ashamed of herself and waiting for his reaction.

Logan was too tired to fight, too tired to argue, and even the Wolverine was too sad and lonely at this point to jump forward and do anything. He had just been through the longest few weeks of his life and it seemed they weren't going to get any easier any time soon. Hell, from the moment he had begun the remodel of this suite, until just now, not a single thing had been easy for him and he hadn't had much chance to stop and just relax. Now it felt as if he was out of fight for the first time in years. This should have made him angry, it should have sent him into a rage...but it wasn't in him at the moment.

"Okay, well, shit," he said as he collapsed on the bed. He had taken it personally when Marie hadn't shown at the funeral. Now however, well, now it wasn't her fault and instead of being angry with her as he had been for her not coming, well...shit...he knew she would take this harder now.

"Logan, please, don't be mad. I tried to get her number from you and you blew me off, said 'Not now I'll do it later' and I thought you meant YOU would call her later because you never got back to me but I still sent an email after that – I did, I swear I did. Please, don't be mad," Kitty begged again, "The professor will fix it, I know he will. I just wanted you to know it was all my fault she wasn't here okay."

Kitty left, Logan just staring into space. He hadn't said anything else, just held his head in his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed while she had waited for his reaction, for the anger she had expected, to come. Finally, she had just left. Clearly her apology had not been enough, and probably wouldn't be until Rogue made it back. At least Kitty was still in one piece.

He was just too damn tired to do anything else right now. The hurt was fresh again at the mention of the funeral, the emptiness he felt here without his girls around was closing in, and he was ready to run. He waited there, holding his head in his hands, unable to cry in front of Kitty, just wishing she would leave and choking back his sadness. At last she crept out, and then, he cried again like he had done so often these last two weeks. Alone and lonely - until Squirt let out a whimper from her crib and reality reeled him in again. 'Nope daddy dearest – I think you have a diaper to change' the Wolverine laughed at him...Logan knew the Wolverine was right. You can't change diapers and run and with Squirt around eh wasn't really alone.

Professor Xavier called Rogue several times, each time getting only her voice mail. He didn't want to scare her by contacting her telepathically, or on the 'brain phone' as she had often teased him. That tended to imply a sense of urgency and they were past urgent at this point. He should have done that from the start, and he again felt remorseful for not handling matters himself He was trying to avoid emails as well – something like this should come verbally, not written and impersonal – when Logan wandered into his office later that day with Jubilee's once forgotten cell phone.

"Here, she won't answer when I call from mine, but I bet she MAY answer if she thinks it's Jubilee." With that he turned and walked out, Squirt ever at his side.

Her phone rang a few times that afternoon, but she had been busy and had chosen to ignore it. Well, busy was an understatement, she had just been outside enjoying the beautiful day and had not wanted to get up. Still, if Charles wanted to call this a vacation, Marie was going to treat it like one and that meant ignoring phone calls when she felt like so yes, she had been busy she laughed to herself. The next time it rang she got up to see who it was blowing her up like Beyonce and it was Jubilee! FINALLY! Marie answered as fast as she could then since she had been waiting so long to hear back from her.

"Hey girl! It's been forever! Hows things going? Did you pop yet? Is it a boy or a girl?" it was quiet on the other end for a moment, usually Jubilee hit her with a million questions, not the other way around. But Rogue had been anxiously waiting on this phone call it seemed, and when Charles spoke, she knew something was horridly wrong. There was no way on earth Jubes was letting her phone out of her sight – she had always called her cell her lifeline to the world and never left it out of reach for even a second.

"Rogue, it's not Jubilee. I tried calling a few times already, but .." he was cut off.

"Where is she professor? She okay?"

"No Rogue, and we need you home now, if you like I can send the Black Bird..."

"No...unless...do I not have time or something? The only reason you would send the jet is if something was very wrong. Please, just tell me what's wrong."

"I hadn't wanted to say over the phone, but Rogue, she's gone." he couldn't think of easier words, a better way, it was all he had. He too missed her vibrant self floating through popping gum at people and all around making a scene more than he had realized.

"Gone, like disappeared GONE? OR what?" Rogue was starting to get hysterical. Her first thought was that Magneto or even Stryker had come back in her absence. Charles sensed this and he slipped into her mind through the distance to show her what had happened, as he found it hard to talk through the tears.

He showed her the funeral, with Logan and the baby, and everything else he could. He knew it was hard for her to watch, but she needed to know, needed to see it for herself to understand he told her telepathically. They needed her home soon, but preferably without killing herself along the way. Rogue understood, and was coming home, but that was all she would elaborate on. She didn't say when, only that she would be careful, and she would try to make a direct trip there. She promised to call if she needed anything, if she changed her mind on being picked up in the jet. Then she cut off the mental connection and hung her now useless phone up as well.

Charles was relieved for the most part. Rogue was headed home, and she wasn't coming back to a surprise, she knew what she was up against. At least that was over and Charles could move on with his day – maybe once Rogue got here Logan would heal a little more and move on some himself. Maybe he would eventually take a little more help with the baby if it was from Rogue, and maybe, just maybe, he would stop calling the girl Squirt long enough to pick a legal name for her.

Logan had felt so abandoned when Marie hadn't shown at the funeral, so alone in the last 2 weeks. A pain had settled on his heart for so many reasons, her absence being one. He had pushed through it though; he had needed to for Squirt. Putting his attentions back on the job at hand, he changed Squirt, located Jubilee's cell phone, and then headed to the professor's office with her phone in one hand and the baby in the other. He knew Rogue, knew she would likely tune out anyone she wasn't in the mood for, but she hardly ever turned down a call from Jubilee and was at least more likely to return a missed call from her than anyone else. He wanted her to know, but he couldn't voice the words himself. Not yet anyways. It was a pain still too fresh to admit to. More than that he needed her here. Hopefully, if she knew, she would come back and get over the grudge she seemed to be holding against him.

"Here, she won't answer when I call from mine, but I bet she MAY answer if she thinks it's Jubilee." he handed the phone over to Chuck and left without another word. Logan was headed out to grab something to eat for himself and a bottle for Squirt before she started that whimpering that turned into screeching again. He packed a small grocery bag of things for the two of them, making his way balancing bag, baby, and a blanket out to Jubilee's graveside. He went there at least once a day to just sit and think and leave the mansion behind for a while. With Squirt, it was as close to being free of man made nonsense and out the in the woods he so loved as he was going to get for a while.

Logan needed Rogue back now more than anyone knew, except him. He knew, Logan knew deep in his heart he needed her here to get through this, skin or not he needed her close to him again. He cursed Kitty a little for not trying harder to reach her. He was just too tired and lacked the fight in himself to tell her that earlier. He probably never would. He had learned recently that some things weren't worth hashing back over. He just wanted some of the pain to go away, and he didn't know how to do that without Rogue or Jubilee around. They had always been there for him, had shown him how to live really. When all h knew was fucking and fighting and drinking away his pain those two women had been the ones to teach him to find happiness instead, to find something brighter to live for. He didn't know how to do anything else but sit and mope without them around anymore.

He did know when it was time for a bottle though, and quickly fixed his daughter something before he found breakfast for himself. Their little makeshift picnics in the cemetery probably looked morbid and odd to others, but these moments outside provided him relief from the sounds, smells, and stress he felt in the mansion walls. Once he had her 'plugged in' as he called giving her a bottle, Logan let another one of those prayers Marie had mention fly from his lips again – the silent ones hadn't worked, maybe if he said it out loud it would help.

"Please God, please, send Marie home. Let her come back, and don't make her mad at me, please help us to get through this. I can't be a daddy all alone God, I need someone to help me out here and this ain't working okay? I guess this is it, um...Amen..." Logan set about eating his breakfast - a cold hotdog wrapped in a slice of bread with some ketchup. It was too hard to manage anything else with one hand while a baby sucked a bottle in your other arm. He hoped she made it back soon, she was the only person he could tolerate enough to be around to help with the baby so he could eat like a normal person again.

Hank had been on his way to find Squirt for her check up and was just on the down wind side of them when he heard Logan started talking and had paused to listen. Normally, he really wasn't one to eavesdrop but Hank felt out of place interrupting as well. When he heard what the man had to say, he couldn't help himself but also to silently answered with an echoing prayer in his head 'Please God, this one time, do right by Logan, he needs it if he's asking you.' and headed back to the lab instead. No need to interrupt Logan right now, Hank thought to himself...

I keep on thinking that it's  
all done and all over now  
You keep on thinking you can save me, save me

It took Marie another week to finally get back to the mansion – she had ditched the trailer 2 days into her drive home at a park and sell lot in Ohio, leaving them the address to send the check if and when it sold. It had slowed her down towing that thing, but not as much as the overwhelming grief of letting her best friend down when she should have been there for her.

Marie lost a whole day just sitting at a rest stop, crying on a park bench. A few random strangers stopped to ask if she needed help, but she waved them along on their way. She needed time to grieve and that was hard to do on the road driving along as fast as she dared with tears in her eyes as eighteen wheelers flew around her.

She couldn't believe how selfish she had been, how self centered she had been, to jump ship on her best friend when she needed her the most. She was at a loss for how to deal with Logan. When he hadn't called in weeks, she had taken it as though he gave up on her, she had never expected it to be because she was dealing with a baby all alone. All in all she felt like her world had come crashing down, with no one to turn to complicate it. Now that Jubilee was gone, Marie was afraid to turn to Logan – he would need her support more when she got back to the mansion than she needed his she thought.

When she finally gathered herself, and had a night's rest in a nearby motel, Marie loaded herself into her truck, and drove straight through the rest of the way to New York. Jean had finally called her after the professor had, in response to her email she told Rogue. She asked as gently as she could if she knew, if she needed any help getting home. When Marie told her she did in fact know, and would be home as fast as she could, Jean told her to call when she got close or if she needed anything. She said that she would meet her and go over all that had happened. Marie thanked her for calling, and promised to let her know when she was close and hung up. Ready to leave and yet dreading her return at the same time. It should have been happier going home.

Marie did finally call Jean as she pulled up to the mansions gates that night. It was close to midnight, but Marie didn't want to wait any longer. Jean met her in the driveway – always her well put together self not at all looking as if it were the middle of the night when normal people should have bed head and wrinkled pajamas on. They walked around back together to the small cemetery Charles had dedicated for team members and even a few John Doe type mutants they had found in various missions along the way. Marie wasn't ready to face Logan yet, and she needed to hear again for herself what had gone on since she had left.

Marie knew without asking where Jubilee was once they reached the small garden like cemetery – the vibrantly blooming yellow roses that Storm had planted there last week and another student with a gift for plants had willed to bloom led her to it. Jean let her have a few moments to take it in, for it to become real for Rogue, before she walked up behind her and began to talk and show her what had taken place. She stared almost blankly as Jean told her what had happened the night Squirt was born, told her all she could about the days that had passed since Jubilee was gone, and then she asked for a minute to be alone.

"Okay Rogue, meet me back at the mansion when you feel ready," for the first time ever that Rogue could recall since coming here when she was a teenager, Jean reached out and touched Rogue – just her shoulder – giving her a small squeeze, "We wish you could have been here to say goodbye, you know she loved you until the end," and left her alone with her thoughts and her best friend.

When Marie was sure Jean was gone, she began to talk, quietly, as tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm too late, I know. But I really wish I could have been here with you Jubes. I wish I wasn't so far away. I don't know if Logan's okay, or if your daughter is okay, but I guess so – no one had said they aren't. I'll do what I can for them, help them through this, but I wish you were here now. I shouldn't have been so jealous – greedy – I was greedy Jubes! I only thought about me, how it affected me, and I couldn't stand to see you so happy with him. I hope you got the chance to be happy, to enjoy him and your daughter and have a real family again, just for a minute. I miss you girl, I just want you back."

Marie sat there for a while, just sat in the still quiet of the night over her best friend's grave trying to gather the courage to go in and find Logan and his daughter. It still hurt, but not as much as knowing Jubilee was gone and Rogue would never get to see her again, gossip with her again. Jubilee had always been her lifeline to normal, unafraid of Rogue's skin, so convinced she would find a way around it while Rogue had been convinced otherwise and the other residents of the mansion, well, they had shown they were of Rogue's mind on her skin. Others would softly and quietly sidestep her presence in the hallways, never made any attempts after Bobby at least, to get close to her. But Jubilee had never been afraid of her. Neither had Logan really, but Marie had only pushed him away and she saw the events that had unfolded as partly her fault.

If she hadn't pushed Logan away, he wouldn't have turned to Jubilee, and if he hadn't done that, well, Jubilee wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and she'd still be here.

Jean heard the last thought, and she knew she shouldn't eavesdrop mentally like that, but she couldn't help it. She was worried about Rogue's frame of mind right now, she had been out there a while. Finally, Jean couldn't take it anymore – she went and found Logan and a screeching infant.

"Logan, what's wrong with the baby?"

"I don't know. I heard Rogue was back, and I didn't want her to find her niece in a filthy outfit she had already spit up on three times, so I changed her into the pink dress Rogue had ordered for her and the screeching started. Make it stop Jeannie," he said handing the baby over to her.

"Well, first, let's get you out of this over sized frilly frock and - " she paused, reaching through the ruffles of the dress, "Here Logan," she said, as the baby stopped crying, "Is your problem."

She handed him a straight pin, "It must have gotten left behind when they were piecing this together. Lesson learned – check all new clothing for sharp pins from now on. I'm surprised you didn't smell blood," she teased a little.

"Yeah well, my super nose goes on super strike when my ears are blown up. I was probably only smelling the blood from my ear drums while Squirt busted 'em out with all her hollering."

Jean laughed at him, "Don't worry Logan, you'll get used to learning something new every day after a while – and eventually your body will learn to regrow stronger ear drums. Now, why don't you take Squirt out to visit her mama and collect her aunty?" The fact he had gotten up in the middle of the night to change the baby as if they were headed to a christening hadn't surprised her – he took great pride in caring for his daughter the best way he knew how.

"You mean, Rogue's out at the grave? How long has she been there?"

"A while, saying goodbye and making apologies. Go get her Logan, share the baby with her, give her a reason to smile."

"Yeah, sure," he grumbled walking away. He had been out to the grave with the baby each and every day, often sitting for hours in the evening telling Jubilee's ghost about how her daughter was already growing, each new thing the baby had done. But he didn't share that with anyone, he always came alone, and promptly shut up if anyone else had come upon them. He wasn't up for sharing now. Hopefully Marie would come right back to the mansion when she saw him and Squirt. He was tired, and only wanted to greet Marie upon her return as she had always done for him – with a smile, happy to have her around again. He wasn't in the mood for too much talking and nonsense, what he needed desperately was sleep. He walked up and caught the last of Marie's conversation with the after world...

"I keep thinking it's all just a bad dream Jubes, that I'll wake up, and you'll be here to rescue me from my nightmares like you always did when Logan was away."

Logan felt bad for that – he had missed so much being in and out over the years, and been gone more than he was at home. He made more noise and started talking to the baby deliberately to make his presence known so as not to surprise Marie or scare her into running again like he always had done. Please don't let her run, he thought to himself, I need her more than she knows.

"Well, look who we have here Squirt, it's your Aunty," Marie smiled up at Logan, her breath caught when she his daughter though.

"Oh my, she is the spitting image of her mama," she didn't have to ask, he handed the baby over gladly, ready for a break, his arms getting tired since he never set her down it seemed. But it felt right letting Marie take her. It was easier than passing the child over to anyone else, and the Wolverine was there in his mind urging him to go with the feeling of this being okay.

"She is, it hurt the first couple days. Squirt would cry, I would cry, all I could think of was her mother..." he hadn't admitted that to anyone yet.

"Well come here Squirt. I'm Aunty Marie," she cooed to the girl, "and what's your proper name?" she asked, more directed at Logan than his daughter though.

"Well, funny thing, we hadn't picked one yet. The firecracker here thought it best to save naming her until after she was born, because, well, we didn't know it was a her and she thought kids should be named on personality not just because their parents thought it sounded good."

"Logan!" Marie was shocked, "You mean she's almost a month old and doesn't have a name?"

"She's not a month old, it's only been three weeks, and she does so have a name. I call her Squirt," the baby looked his way at the sound of his voice, "See, she knows her name." he reached back for his daughter, offended that anyone, even Marie, would question his parenting over lack of a 'proper name'.

"She needs a name sugar, something you can yell at her in fifteen years when you're good and pissed off at catching her sneaking out with some boy. 'Squirt' ain't gonna cut it when that time comes," Marie said as she held the baby back out of his reach.

"Give me Squirt now, Marie," now Logan was pissed – no one had yet dared to refuse him access to his daughter since her birth.

"No, call her something normal, something you can put on a birth certificate, first and THEN you can have her back – isn't that right sugar? You need a name on paper, even if your daddy never uses it, and he won't..."Marie cooed to the girl again, careful not to let the child get too close to her bare skin. "He'll spend every day calling you 'darlin' and 'kid' and 'Squirt' but you still need a name." She looked at Logan, "We can't have other kids laughing when she shows up to kindergarten with "Squirt" on her name tag."

"Fine, give her here, and I'll go find one of those name books and start thinking," he asked again, arms held out.

"No, I said name first, baby second. You're welcome to follow us back in to the mansion though, I think Squirt here has made a little Squirt in her pants. I'll do the changing, you do the thinking."

"Marie..." Logan growled at her

"Nope, you can growl, it don't scare me...never did...," was all she said as she headed back in.

Logan followed behind, mad, but thinking now finally about a real name for his daughter.

My ship is sinking but it's  
all good and I can go down  
You've got me thinking that the party's all over

Logan and Marie spent the rest of the night and into the morning just catching up on all she had missed since the birth of 'Squirt'. They were tired, but there was so much catching up to do. In a way, she was amazed at how much he had done by himself these last few weeks, amazed, and guilty again.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here Logan, I should have been," Marie blurted it out before she had a chance to stop herself.

"Nah, don't be. I've missed plenty myself through the years. You can't take it to heart like that, you just gotta push on towards the future."

"I guess, but for now, I'd be happy if you'd name this baby," She had brought it up several times, and Logan still couldn't think of anything that seemed to suit his daughter.

"I can't help it Marie, I've tried, sat for hours, read out every name in the stupid book. Nothing fits her. She's just like her mother, confusing, loud, cheerful, loud," just then the baby let out a squawk he was familiar with. "See, she's hungry, not getting fed yet, and all set to throw a fit like Jubilee would do if she wasn't getting her way." He left to go grab a bottle for her, and it hit Marie right then.

Grabbing the baby from her spot in the middle of the bed, Marie followed Logan into the baby's room where the bottle warmer and small fridge he had brought in were, "So...name her after her mother, but kinda different ya know?"

"What, like 'Junior'," he turned around with laughter in his eyes, "Darlin' we ain't in Mississippi anymore and I don't think 'Junior' is any better than 'Squirt'".

"No dumb ass," Marie huffed at him, "Not Junior, just something close. Jubilee was Jubilation Lee...let me think on it..." as variations on the name rolled through her head Logan readied the bottle and passed it off to Marie. She was taking the 'no name no baby' thing very seriously and he had to admit, it was nice having a woman around to help that didn't also drive him bat shit nuts. Sure, he had help sometimes from different people like Storm and had even Kitty once. But they generally tended to talk about nonsense and drive him crazy. Marie didn't cause that reaction in him. He was glad she was home.

"I got it!" Marie finally exclaimed as she burped the girl after feeding her, "Now don't laugh, but I think I have it. Call her 'True Jubilation Lee' – but just True most of the time, and let her have her mama's last name, since, well, we still aren't too sure on yours."

"I don't know, I mean, ain't 'True' a verb or some shit? That ain't really a name..."Logan was thinking on it, now all Marie had to do was convince him.

"Yeah I guess...but it's unique, describes her and it makes her smile. " she looked down at the now sleeping baby, sure enough grinning in her sleep.

"Jeannie says at this age it's just gas that makes her smile," Logan argued.

"Well, then it''s a lucky fart that picked her name." The comment had them both laughing and trying not to wake the baby. "You have to admit , that's a story to save for her first date. Set the young man down, sharpen your claws while you wait on her to get ready, and talk about how her own fart named her." They both laughed until they had tears in their eyes.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. 'True Jubilation Lee' huh...it is how I felt, those last moments with them both there..." Logan once again had trailed back into that sad memory of Jubilee's last minutes with her family.

"Yeah, but you were there sugar, that's all that counts now. She had you both for a while. Here – take True – I need to go shower and sleep a little and from the looks of it you do to. Let me know when you want me to take her and I'll give you a break. I'll be one room over 'kay?" she said, handing the baby back to her father.

"True it is then. I'll tell Jean later to get the birth certificate ready for me to sign. Right now I agree on the nap thing and if I'm lucky so does True here. Thanks Marie, for coming home," added as she headed out of the room.

"I will always wish I had been here sooner Logan," Marie said, shutting the door behind her.

It hurt, seeing a little girl so much like a mother she would never know. But Marie knew she was obligated to stay now, to see them through this. Honestly, she wouldn't leave now for anything. In just a few hours she had become attached to little True. The harder part was seeing Logan hurting, but fighting it. Now the work began to get him to heal – and stick around.

Lay down  
Just stay down  
Lay down because I am trying to get through

Marie spent every minute she could with True and Logan – she picked up where Jubilee should have been – sharing Logan's job as parent to a motherless little girl. She wasn't sorry for that, but it did hurt from time to time as True reached different milestones. The worst one was the word 'mama'. Somehow, probably because they always took her once a day to the cemetery to visit her mother's grave and referred to Jubilee as mama often in front of her at those times, True had picked it up. Everything in sight was 'mama' for a few days, and the first time her eyes landed on Marie and her little mouth let loose the word 'mama' Marie couldn't stop herself from leaving the room without so much as an 'excuse me Logan'. She one minute had been playing on the floor with the baby as he sat there filling out reports for the new defense class he was teaching, and next thing he knew Marie was gone and True was crying.

"Come here Squirt, what's wrong?" he tried picking her up to sooth her and save his ears. "It's okay, she'll be back, shhhh," he swayed back and forth, calming the girl. She relaxed and went back to smashing blocks together on the floor. He called Storm to see if she would come take the baby for a while, and when he did he went to search for Marie. When he found her he planned on asking what had happened, but wasn't expecting the answer she gave him.

"She called me mama and I know she didn't mean it, it's just a new word, but Logan, I felt so bad, like I had taken something from Jubilee and.." Marie was still sniffling and he offered up a dirty bib, now part of his unofficial 'daddy uniform' which helped to get her laughing again.

"Nah kid, don't worry. Jubes is looking down and she gets it, she knows you are gonna be the closest thing True has to a mama anyways. She wouldn't mind sharing long as you're doing a good job of it." Somehow, in his heart, Logan knew that was the truth.

"I know, but it still feels wrong sometimes, like I'm a gypsy in the palace ya know? Snuck in, sat on the thrown for a while," she paused, wondering if she dared voice the next part out loud, and thought better of it.

"what? You didn't sound finished Marie," Logan pushed a little, he could tell something was on her mind.

"Nothing, that's it, I just feel wrong sometimes I'm here and she's not. Like God took the wrong one Logan." and Marie walked off, leaving it at that and not wanting to talk anymore. She did that sometimes when the sadness got to her. She just wandered away from him, staying distant as had become her custom to over the years.

Logan was pissed, he was hurt. He had enough of her personal private little pity party. How could Marie say that? God shouldn't have taken anyone as far as he was concerned, but at least he had left him with something to hold onto! He was grateful every day that he at least had Marie and True with him still, why couldn't Marie see that too? He stormed up to Storm's room to collect his daughter, it was bath time after all, something which Marie always skipped out on because of the whole 'deadly skin thing' and found himself begging Storm to keep her for the night instead. It was something he had only done once since she had been born, when Marie had insisted they go out, go find a bar, find a fight and blow off a little 'pent up energy'. Storm wasn't too hard to convince – it wasn't often either Logan or Rogue turned the child loose from their sight and everyone loved her as much as they had loved her mother. Storm insisted it was a joy and a pleasure to keep her and next thing he knew, he was at the door to Marie's room, and scared to go in,or even knock. He wasn't sure why he was standing there, but he knew one thing. There was plenty unsaid between he and Marie and he meant to get it all out, now, before the denial got any worse.

"Marie, c'mon kid, I know you're in there" the damn door was locked! She knew that wouldn't stop him! But I guess it was meant to slow me down, he thought to himself..."Marie, please, we need to talk."

She opened the door, not wanting the whole mansion to hear them, "That's all we do is talk Logan, what about this time?" She walked back to her bed, laying down on her side, and curling up around herself as if to hide in her own skin.

"I loved her Marie – I still do. I miss her more each day, each time Squirt does something new, I wish Jubilee was here to see it. Jean said 'It'll get easier' – hell, EVERYONE said that to me at some point. And it does...but it doesn't all at the same time. The daily constant grief has turned into a silent burning ache in my heart," he admitted to her," Sometimes, something will happen, and the pain comes back twice as strong that she's gone and I can't do anything about it." He paused, clearing his throat, trying to find the right words, "Marie...I think the same things you do sometimes you know. Probably at the same times as you do even" He was at a loss for words now, but he had finally admitted something he had been keeping buried for a while now.

"What's that Logan?" She was confused, still wallowing in her own misery and only half listening to him.

"That the wrong one left, the wrong one was stolen – but I think it should have been me, not her, not you, not Squirt – ME!" He was upset now, close to the rage he had held back so often since True was born, "Why not me? Why am I still here? She was the perfect one, the good one – just like you. Both of you so young, so innocent compared to me. I'm old, rotten, mean, I've killed people Marie! Why not me?" Logan was breathing heavy, fighting back the Wolverine, and Marie could tell it.

After a long pause, both of them staring at each other, not really knowing what to say to his last comments, because it was the truth in a way, Marie spoke slowly, "Because sugar, you clearly needed time to redeem yourself before YOU were ready for Heaven. God tries not to take people he'd only have to turn away."

This made him laugh – it was true -Jubilee was all set to go, he however had a while before he would be accepted anywhere short of purgatory if not hell, and Logan knew it. "Well, I sure hope you're right Marie, I hope I get to see her again at least once before they kick me out when I finally do go."

She scooted over to where he had perched on the edge of the bed, hugging him close, "I don't think they're gonna kick you out sugar, God knows you'd just tear down the gates and make your back in if he did." She slid back onto the bed, "Come here, up here," she said patting the pillows beside her, "I'm guessing you left True with Storm for the night?" Marie knew he didn't trust his daughter with too many people, and Storm was one of a few he felt comfortable leaving her with.

"Sure did – I didn't know how long it was gonna take to talk sense into you Marie," he smiled at her.

"Well then, I think you should do something you haven't in a long time," she announced with a grin.

Logan couldn't stop the Wolverine from surging forward with the wrong idea clearly playing in HIS mind, but Logan knew what Marie meant. "Sleep darlin'? How'd you know that was what I needed?"

"Because you haven't done much of it the last few months – even with True sleeping now, I hear you in there at night, pacing. I know I'm not a replacement Logan, but I also know you always slept pretty darn well when you were laying next to me, or at least you seemed like you did." Marie thought back to the times when her nightmares were the worst, when she would crawl into bed next to him, and finally be able to get a little rest, and how he would seek her out and do the same after a particularly bad mission, one where he knew the nightmares were coming and he just needed to sleep soundly. The presence of the the other had always had a soothing effect on each of them. But it had been a long time since they had actively sought each other out like that. On Marie's part, she knew it was out of respect for Jubilee and she suspected that was part of it for Logan, but she also knew he wouldn't leave True alone, not even just next door. She had a feeling if it hadn't been for the baby, he would have found his way to her room much sooner, if only to be able to rest from the horrid images that often played through his mind at night like a broken record. "I mean...I hope you didn't think that..." she was at a loss here, she hadn't meant it to come out like that.

"Don't worry darlin', I ain't never tried to ruin your virtue before, won't start now, I know what you meant," he crawled up to where she was, and laid down behind her. "Like this wasn't it always?" he wrapped his arm around her, tucking Marie's head into his chest.

"Yeah sugar, always helped to scare the boogeyman off before." Marie closed her eyes, truth be told she hadn't slept too well recently either, in part due to his pacing next door and in part due to her own demons.

They both slept soundly, and through the night, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime that night. No nightmares, no crying baby, just peaceful quiet sleep. When Storm came by the next morning, finally out of clean diapers for True, she found Logan's room empty but the snoring coming from next door clued her in to where he had found his way after leaving her room last night. "Come along missy," she picked up the baby who was already starting to find ways to squirm out of sight when left alone for a minute, "Let's let daddy and Rogue rest a while longer." Storm headed out to the gardens, baby in tow, ready for Logan to have a fit for not waking him sooner of course, but glad at least he had finally found comfort with the person who also needed him the most in return.

Say what you want but you're not gonna win this time  
Take what you want, but just leave me alive

Her daddy had a saying that her mama hated, one she would admonish him for if he said in front of Marie, but it actually made mama laugh a little when no one was looking. "There's a shit in every field Honey," he would say when things looked too good to be true, "Just remember that." Then he'd wink at his daughter as his wife went off telling him not to use THAT word and blah blah blah. It was one of the few bittersweet memories that crept into Marie's mind when she woke up the next morning.

"Oh my god!" Looking at the clock it wasn't even morning anymore! It was past noon already, Marie jumped up, startling Logan, the claws came out and that was the end of that mattress...she sighed...sitting back down, never afraid of him in these moments she had become familiar with over the years. "Sugar, calm down, it's just me." She reached out to touch his arm, just above where the claws began, "Give me my bed back and no one will get hurt Logan." Well, she thought to herself, perfectly peaceful night sleeping for a change and now I need a new bed...the proverbial shit in the field has been found...

"Oh, fuck darlin' I'm so sorry – I haven't done THAT in a while," he looked down at the mess he had made of her sheets and mattress, "I'll ride into town today and get ya another one, promise." Then he saw the clock, "Shit!"

"Yeah, that's what had me spooked – Storm must be worn out by now. I'll go get True, you go take a shower without her watching for change."

"Hey, she doesn't watch – I just make sure she's on lock down in that bouncy thing so she doesn't get hurt," he was slightly embarrassed anyone knew about that, but what else was he supposed to do with the kid? He couldn't leave her alone – she was getting too mobile to be left unsupervised.

"Well, you call it what you want, how you see it, I call it disturbing – you could just start bringing her to me you know, asking for help."

"Whatever, I don't need that much help," he said mostly to himself, as he got up to leave for that shower. She was right though, a little alone time wouldn't hurt...

"Sure sugar, I'll remember that when she starts her first period okay? No help needed..."she saw him shudder at that thought.

"Thanks Marie for that mental image," he shot back over his shoulder, "Go find my kid will ya?"

Marie still had that feeling that somehow she had taken Jubilee's place when she found Storm and True out in the gardens. She couldn't shake it, she had to talk to someone else about it, and Storm was the closest to her after Jubilee, always had been really.

"Hey Squirt," the little girl lit up at the sound of her 'aunty's' voice, reaching for her. "Missed you sugar." Marie said, as she sat the girl back down on the blanket Storm had laid out for her. "Hey Storm, thanks, for letting Logan rest last night."

"Anytime Rogue, it's always a pleasure to spend time with this little bit of trouble," she said as she took away a blade of grass the baby had been about to gnaw on. "I think however it may be time for lunch, don't you?" she said as True reached for a clump of dirt.

"Yeah," Rogue said laughing, "It may be. Seems mud pies are on the menu at the moment aren't they?"

After redirecting True's attentions to the toys Storm had grabbed for her this morning and opening a package of crackers for her as well, Storm spoke again, "I hope I am not over stepping my boundaries here Rogue, but I am glad to see things are back to the way they were."

Confused, Rogue had to ask, "What do you mean Storm? Back to what way?"

"You and Logan, friends again, seeking comfort from the other when it is needed. He hasn't slept well since Jubilee left us," Storm spoke slowly and thoughtfully, which was her normal pattern of things. "He needs you Rogue, just as you need him. Anyone here can see it has always been that way. I feel that maybe when you left, it was because of that – and his relationship with Jubilee..."Storm hoped she hadn't over stepped on that one, but she knew the woman before her needed to talk, needed a friend now that the one she had always confided in before was gone, and she was ready to be there for Rogue if she chose now to open up. It didn't take long for Storm to see she had been right in that assumption.

"I guess so, but Storm, I just can't shake the feeling sometimes that I'm taking her place, and I don't want to do that..."Marie let it out, she hadn't talked to anyone like this since Jubilee had passed away, she needed to talk more than anything right now.

"Yes, but dear, think about it. At some point, someone should take that place – not her place, the place Jubilee holds in his heart – but the place she held in his life. Someone needs to be there for him, just as you need someone for yourself. You are here now after all? But am I taking Jubilee's place in your heart? Or simply the spot in your life as a person to confide in?"

"You're right, I suppose..."

"I am dear, not always," she laughed at herself, "But sometimes. I wouldn't speak on it if I doubted myself Rogue. You're not a replacement for her, just the job she held in his life." Storm hoped she was making sense, that Rogue could see her way of thinking. She had sensed months ago, when Rogue had left the mansion, that there was a tension between the trio, and it had stayed that way even after her return.

They sat together in companionable silence, quietly watching as True played until Logan showed up a while later. He seemed relieved to have his daughter back in his sight, and relaxed more than he had been in a long time.

"You look well Logan," Storm greeted him as he came to sit down on the ground with his daughter. "Sleep well?" she said with a knowing look in her eyes.

"Yeah, for a change I didn't have to get up to crying, or the smell of a dirty diaper. I wouldn't even wish a nose like mine on Magneto if he had a kid like her around." He brushed off her weighted remark with his usual joking.

"Well, I shall head in for a nap of my own then. You should take the chance to sit out here a while and enjoy this lovely fall day." Storm gathered herself and left them alone, hoping they had finally worked out the tension still under lying their relationship or would at least now that she had talked with Rogue.

"Logan, I'm sorry." "Marie, I'm sorry." they spoke simultaneously, and then she couldn't stop herself.

"Jinx!" Marie let out, laughing harder.

"What the hell does that mean?" Now Logan was confused – Jinx?

"Yeah sugar, 'jinx' – it's a game kids play, when you say the same thing, same time, first one to jinx the other wins. Or something like that...been a while since I was a kid..."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough, once Squirt here starts talking more and makes friends, she'll come home playing all those games they teach each other huh?"

"She will..." Marie was lost in thought again.

"Darlin', what's going through your head right now? You aren't still upset about taking Jubilee's place are ya?" he had to ask, had to know they would be okay. He didn't want to loose Marie too.

"No, just thinking, mostly 'bout something Storm said to me earlier. She was right."

"What's that Marie?" He was nervous, had the weather witch made things worse? No, not Storm...she wouldn't do anything like that, maybe help, but never interfere at the cost of others.

"Well, she explained I wasn't taking Jubilee's place in your heart, but in your life, and I think she was right a little. I mean, I'm not your lover, I'm not her mother. I know that and you do too. But I can be there for you like she was. I don't have to be her, just fill her shoes a little I guess." She hoped he followed the path of reason her brain had, that he understood what she meant, wouldn't take offense at it.

Logan sat there quietly for some time, until True began to fuss, clearly hungry – AGAIN – and as he got up he simply stated, "I know that, it's be nice to have someone around to help. You coming for dinner?"

"Yeah, I'll be in after a minute, gotta stop by and see Jubilee – Storm took True today, before we got up, but I ain't been by yet."

"We gonna be okay kid?"

She looked him in the eyes, and smiled, "I think we are Logan."

-FIN-


End file.
